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FOURTH WEEK OF FEBRUARY
"My ex doesn't want to take care of his own child! "
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#280202.01
Q: "Good Morning Joy,
I've
been a single mom for 4 years now. Father does see her every other weekend
if he's not busy playing with his band which comes first. He is like her
playmate only he doesn't take her anywhere when he has her only rents
movies and plays video games with her. She spends a lot of time playing on
her own according to her. Then even though he only has her twice a month
he sometimes drops her off at his mom's. He just sickens me. He's always
late with child support (verbal agreement-court's didn't work). He does
not get involved in her schooling, activities, or clubs that I cart her
around to. I am just so tired of being the strong one, the responsible
one, the mother and the real father. Help. Ritz"
A: "In reply to Ritz., thank you for visiting
SingleMom.com. I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through
right now. You're such a great mother that any kid would wish to have.
Reading your Email, I can feel your anger, helpless, & desperate to
change the situation to make it better for your daughter. You're
hurting to see what your daughter is going through.
As you realize that the
father of your daughter doesn't really care much for his own daughter or
he's not good enough to be a father. And that's why he is your ex.
Some men grow up & get wiser. Others just simply get older.
If everyone is responsible as you, wouldn't that be a nice place to
live. There would be no divorce and no single parents!
However, life is tough. It's painful & beautiful at the same
time. It's beautiful to see your beautiful daughter smile every
morning :-) And it's painful to see her unhappy each time she
comes back from her father's place. Accept it that the father is
an irresponsible father and you must try harder to raise your daughter
on your own. You're the both parents for your daughter right now.
It's great that you can see all these and it's sad that nothing much
that you can do to make him change for the better. There's some alternative ways that you can try to make some improvement. You
can either talk to his mother about how much your daughter wants to
spend "quality time" with her Dad, hopefully the mother can
talk to her son about it.
I understand that it's difficult to see your daughter does not get
enough caring & support from her father. Because of that, try
to talk to your ex again. As you mentioned, verbal wasn't a
successful method to deal with him. However, just for your
daughter's sake, try it again in a different tone of voice. Put
your pride on a side and try to talk to him in a different way.
Explain to him that he is hurting his own daughter's feeling. Ask if
there's anything you can do to make this better for your daughter.
I hope that with this "peace talk" will somehow make him
reconsider about it.
I wish you the best and I hope that somehow a miracle will happen to
your daughter. Her father will change his behavior for the better.
In the meantime, keep up the wonderful works that you do to raise your
daughter right now"
I hope you find these
information and I wish you the best. Thank you for visiting
SingleMom.com."
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