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#300402.01
Q: "Hi
Joy, I've been a
single mom for almost 10 years and my son will be 10 years old next
month. I have worked hard all my life and even managed
to save enough money to buy a house for the two of us without ever
seeing a dime from his Father! My question to you Joy is, when I
ask my son to clean up his room and help me around the house he
always puts it off or comes up with some kind of excuse. His
Grandma watches him two days a week after school and of course in his
Grandma's eyes he shouldn't have to clean up his room or do chores
because she thinks he's to young??? I have even offered him an
allowance of $5.00 per week as an incentive. Do you have any
advice on what I can do to help him be more responsible? Sincerely, K."
SingleMom.com visitor: "In reply to
K., thank
you for visiting SingleMom.com. Reading your Email, I can see that
you are a wonderful mom. You did all you could to raise your son.
However, you get a difficult time to tell him to clean up around the
house. Many kids at that age are acting that way. However,
money or any other kind of incentives is not the best way to teach your
son. Most of the time its motivates the kids. In this case, it
just doesn't work for you.
Now, you mentioned that your son doesn't have to do much when he is with
his grandma. You need to talk to his grandma about this. It
will not be an easy discussion. So you should be patient
explaining to your mother that you work hard and you try your best to
raise your son the best way you know how. In order for you to keep
this house in order, you need help from your son, and that he lives in
the house with you. He should learn how to be responsible and help
you out around the house. Try to explain to your mother that you
are tired and you need her help. She will have the way to tell
your son. You
should also have a talk with your son. Sit down and talk to him
like an adult. Don't treat him like an irresponsible kid.
Give him some respect and ask him to open up to you. Ask him what
can you do to help him to help you. Tell him that you love him
more than anything. If he compares you to grandma or other kids
parents. Tell him that you try your best to provide him a happy
home the best way you know how. If he knows a better way, please
show you. Tell him that you're trying very hard to make this work
for both you & him. So please be responsible & grow up.
I hope you find this helpful & best wishes to you.
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