Once, years ago, when I was
feeling overwhelmed as a mother with three
young children, I phoned an older and
wiser friend for comfort. After I poured
out my woes, she told me, "Dear, I just
think you need to be more patient." I
nearly hit the roof!
Patient? I didn't even like the word!
Doesn't being patient mean sitting around
until things just somehow get better? I
thought being patient meant being a wimp.
To be told I should be more patient was
not helpful. I swore I would never speak
to my friend again.
I tried to shove
the idea of patience aside completely.
The problem was I had always
respected her counsel; that's why I had
phoned her. Maybe she knew what she was
talking about. No, how could she possibly
understand? I tried to shove the idea of
patience aside completely.
It bothered me, though, when I realized
that I didn't really know what the word
"patience" meant. Finally I looked it up.
One definition is "to be calm under
whatever circumstances." Well, that wasn't
so bad. At least it didn't say I had to
wait.
The next day I took my three children to
the library in our town in Hawaii. As we
were leaving I noticed a Volkswagen Beetle
(the original version!) parked next to our
car. There were some young Hawaiian guys
hanging around it, talking, and laughing.
By the time I got my kids in our car, the
guys had piled into theirs and had taken
off.
At the end of the parking lot, both of our
cars had to wait for the green light. When
the light changed and the Bug drove
through the intersection, I saw a tennis
racket fall off its roof right into the
middle of the road. Traffic was slow
enough for me to jump out of my car and
pick up the racket. I wanted to get it
back to the guys as quickly as I could.
So the
chase was on!
So the chase was on! But the
Bug weaved in and out of several streets
before I finally lost it. It was
frustrating. It was also very hot and
sticky. The air conditioning in my car was
not working well enough to suit the kids,
and they were getting cranky and
impatient. Ah! That word. Impatient.
I pulled over into a parking lot to
think. By now the Bug would be going over
the mountain, heading towards Honolulu. I
would never find it. Maybe I could put an
ad in the paper, or…or…or. Too many ideas
raced through my head. I had no idea what
to do.
Then the thought came to me to be very
calm.
Be calm, in spite of the fact that the
kids were whining, it was hot and muggy
and there was no quick answer?
I took my hands off the steering wheel
and began to pray.
But I did it anyway. I took my
hands off the steering wheel and began to
pray.
Praying, to me, means listening to God.
And it is a lot easier to hear Him when
I'm quiet. Otherwise it would be like
trying to hear someone on the phone when
the TV is blaring in the background. The
noise has nothing to do with the
conversation, so we need to turn it way
down, if not off.
In that calmness I felt God's loving,
intelligent presence, and I felt sure He
would tell me what to do. Even though the
kids were fussing I had tuned the noise
out. I listened to God some more. In a
minute or two the idea came to go back to
the library. That made no sense to me, and
I momentarily protested. But God had
spoken and it felt so right to go.
As we arrived, I saw that the same parking
lot served both the library and the tennis
courts. Of course! How could I have
forgotten? I backed my car into a space
and looked for an instructor who might
know who owned the racket.
He thanked
me with a big Hawaiian "aloha!"
Suddenly a car pulled up beside
me. It was the Bug! He was looking for the
lost racket. I handed it right to him. He
thanked me with a big Hawaiian "aloha!"
Then the Bug zipped away.
What a relief. I had really wanted to get
the shiny new racket back to its owner.
But what was more important to me was the
lesson I had learned about patience. I
didn't begin to love the word overnight,
but I had really gotten a glimpse of its
importance.
I had often read something Paul says in
the Bible, "Let us run with patience the
race that is set before us." That
statement had always puzzled me. If
patience means to sit back and wait, then
how does one run with patience? But
helping the guys in the Bug that day made
it a little clearer.
First of all, no matter what the
situation, it helps to be calm. This makes
it easier to hear what the Divine is
telling us. We may not always understand
what we're being told completely, but a
prayerful calm helps us discern what feels
right. Then, we follow. And before we know
it, we find the solution, almost as if we
had actually run straight to it.
In the years that followed of raising the
kids through their teens, the word
patience took on greater and greater
significance. Very gradually I learned not
to get upset but to be calm, avoiding many
needless battles. And now that the kids
are grown, I still find it invaluable to
be calm, under whatever circumstances.
Calmness
brings the answer.
I will never forget the
feeling of calm I felt that day in the
car. It had nothing to do with my
surroundings. It wasn't dependent on the
children. And perhaps most importantly, it
was not dependent on having the answer
first. Being calm brings the
answer.
My friend was so right. Patience is the
answer. |
