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For ten years I was married to a man who at times had
physically abused me, but this was nothing compared to the torment of
his constant mental and emotional abuse. I wanted him to change so we
could have a loving family, but over time I saw clearly that this was
not going to happen.
My sister Mardell remembers how uncaring Kevin
was. "The family just didn't seem to matter to him," she says. "He would
just leave for weeks at a time."
During that time I studied a book called Science and Health with
Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. This book gave me clear
insights into Bible messages. From the Bible and Science and Health,
I was learning that I was a child of God, that God is my Father and that
He loves me—and that my husband was also God's child and He loves him as
well.
I knew it was not right
for me to continue accepting the abuse.
I knew it was not right for me to
continue accepting the abuse. It was not right for me to be part of the
problem by allowing my husband to treat me that way. So I filed for a
divorce, completely unprepared for what lay ahead.
My husband was crueler than ever, constantly blaming me for the
shattered marriage since I wasn't hanging on no matter what. As the
divorce dragged on, he finally moved out. But he came to pick up my
three-year-old son Joel every weekend. I prayed every minute. Kevin
drank a lot on the weekends, and I was afraid he wouldn't care for Joel
properly. Also I wanted my husband to be a good role model for our son
while he was growing up.
But no matter how irresponsible and cruel my husband was to me, I
always tried to be kind and loving in return. I refused to think of him
that way but tried to stick with what my prayer was telling me—that he
was God's child, that God loved him and that God was only seeing him as
His child, loving, good and pure. And I prayed to know that my husband
could feel God's love and understand that he was His child.
My husband became less cruel
to me
Six months went by and the divorce was granted. My
husband became less cruel to me—he was not nice but not as cruel either.
For the next several months he continued picking my son up on the
weekends and I continued praying for him.
Then one morning I was awakened by a call at 5 am. It was my
ex-husband.
He begged me to listen to him, because no one else in the world
beside me would understand what he was about to say. I agreed and he
proceeded. He told me he had been healed by God.
Earlier that evening he was in so much mental pain because of the
divorce, he bought a case of beer and went to a motel. "I decided to
drink some beer to get rid of depression," he said, "but that didn't
work. I tried watching TV to get my mind off it, that didn't work." So
he did something he had never done before—he cried out to God. "I know
You talk to my ex-wife and You help and love her. Will You do the same
for me? Talk to me, love me, help me."
And the answer came for him to get the Bible out of the night-stand
drawer. "I started reading from the Bible," he said. "I would read a
little bit and flip to another section, then read some more." He read
and read and read from 11 pm until 4:30 am.
It became very peaceful in
the room.
He said that then, "It became very peaceful in
the room. I felt like weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It's hard
to explain, I just feel cleaner, more pure. I have a different view of
life. When the room got peaceful, I think that's when the healing was
happening. It was really weird. The whole room seemed to be quiet,
everything seemed so much clearer to me. I was just more at peace."
With the peacefulness came the realization of what he had done to me
and others, and so he called me. He told me that for the first time he
understood how much pain he had caused me and others, and he was sorry.
That he was glad I left him so I did not have to suffer anymore. And he
even said he understood that I was a good wife to him and that I
deserved a much better husband.
Wow! From then on I saw change after change in Kevin. He became kind,
considerate, loving, humble, honest, caring. Not just to me but to the
whole world! He even quit drinking for good.
Looking back on when he was uncaring, he says, "I don't really know
what it was that made me act the way I did, but when I had the healing
it just wasn't there no more. I didn't have to act that way or even to
remember it, because it was gone." He also says, "I like myself better
now. I'm a lot closer to my son. I'm more loving towards him. I express
my love towards him a lot more. I guess before I felt love that I wasn't
expressing. I didn't feel comfortable expressing myself before and now I
do."
I now have the marriage I
always dreamed of and the husband I deserve.
Six months later we were re-married—or I
should say, married for the first time. I now have the marriage I always
dreamed of and the husband I deserve.
Mardell is real happy for me. She told me, "Kevin seems to be a
different person. He wouldn't talk before, but he even talks to me now.
Obviously the caring is now there. He does many things with Joel as a
father. And he treats you great. Sometimes it takes that going to the
bottom to find out it's important to love your family."
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