Stop everything you’re doing for a moment…

     Erase all of those racing thoughts and fragmented to-do lists from your mind.
 

     Take a nice, deep breath… and another.

 

     Feel your heart rate slowing down.

 

        Now, whisper to yourself, “What do I most need in this moment?”

 

        Feel your excitement and hopefulness rise at the prospect that you’re finally focusing on your own needs. The notion almost brings goose bumps to your skin, doesn’t it?

 

        “What do I most need in this moment?”

 

        Wait a minute…don’t allow your mind to race ahead, or give you seventeen reasons why you can’t take time for whatever answer might be coming forth.

 

        You can take time… perhaps you must take time.

 

        Several years ago I heard best-selling author, Jennifer Louden, ask just this question.

 

“What do you most need in this moment?”

 

        I considered this a fascinating query and turned to my list endearingly labeled “Fun Projects”. Disappointingly, while the activities looked entertaining for someone wanting to do something, none of them resonated with me in that moment. 

 

        Shortly thereafter, the question was long forgotten.

 

        Fast-forward to the middle of last month. Life was a whirlwind, my nerves were unraveling, and my birthday was approaching.

 

        Traditionally, I don’t work on my birthday and began to contemplate celebratory activities. I could travel to Los Angeles but even the thought of jumping on a plane felt frenzied and exhausting. I had been longing for the east coast surf but my husband and I were planning a weekend there together. A trip to Washington, DC sounded like fun but I want to wait to see the baby panda at the National Zoo.

 

        Why do these ideas leave me feeling even more tired, I wondered.

 

        “Oh, what do I most need in this moment?” I begged to know.

 

        And, in a flash, my heart answered me…

 

        I need a leisurely bath with plenty of hot water and Origins salt scrub. I need to read an Oprah magazine in bed at a time when I should be working. I need to devour a large cola Slurpee. I need to research the ideas that have kept me awake with excitement. I need to hear my favorite songs. I need a slice of pizza with feta cheese and fresh tomatoes. I need to be surrounded by friends and family. I need a hazelnut candle and Apple Martinis. I need to be enveloped by Fall. I need a grocery store birthday cake with thick, sickeningly sweet vanilla frosting. And, I need a walk in Duke Gardens at an hour when it’s silent except for the loud squawks of migratory geese.

 

        It was everything I needed to restore my energy and soothe my soul. And it was how I spent my most relaxing day in years.

 

        Now, sit back. Quiet your mind. Take a deep breath. And ask…

 

“What do I most need in this moment?” 

About Author:
Jennifer Snyder, acclaimed life coach and workshop leader, women’s columnist, and tele-instructor has worked with almost 9,000 women across the United States. Her clients are separated and divorced women who cannot wait to proclaim their power. She is the author of a self-discovery workbook, The Time of Your Life: A Creative Sourcebook for Women. The Sourcebook can be ordered at www.timeofyourlifeafterdivorce.com

Jennifer can be reached at 919/414-7197 or visit her Web site at www.timeofyourlifeafterdivorce.com.