Dating a single mom requires patience and
understanding, among other things. With more than
11 million single parents in America today, there
is a good chance that you may date one at some
time. Do you wonder how you should act around your
date's children or what you should expect while
dating a single mother? Here are a few guidelines
to remember when your girlfriend is a single mom.
1. Patience.
Be patient if she doesn't want you to meet her
children right away. Don't take it personally and
think that she doesn't like you enough to
introduce you to her kids. First, she should get
to know you and give you the opportunity to know
her as a woman, before knowing her as a mother.
And secondly, children can easily become attached
to you. Your date may want to see how the
relationship progresses before she lets the
children get attached to you and be hurt if the
relationship doesn't work out.
2. Understanding.
Spontaneity and motherhood don't always mix. As a
mother, your date's first priority is her
children. She may not be able to make spontaneous
plans. Spur-of- the-moment dinner plans may seem
romantic, but are unrealistic for most single
mothers. Remember that she will need time to find
a babysitter. If you want to surprise her with a
romantic dinner or theater tickets, take the
liberty of calling the babysitter and making all
of the arrangements.
3. Know your limitations.
Don't ever attempt to discipline her children. Let
the mother do all of the disciplining. If you have
an issue with a behavior or action, discuss it
with the mother when the kids are not around.
Don't try to be a father or a father figure to the
kids. They probably already have a father and will
only resent you if you try to take his place.
4. Offer to pay the babysitter.
Many single mothers struggle to pay the bills and
support their families. Your date may want to see
you more often but can only afford to pay a
babysitter once a week. Babysitting fees may put a
strain on her budget. It would be a kind gesture
to offer to pay the sitter for her.
5. Include the kids.
After you have been dating for a while and you
feel there will be a long term relationship, you
should plan to include the kids in some of your
outings. Make plans at least once a month to do
group activities that include the children. Make
sure the plans include activities that the kids
will enjoy.
Dating with children can be a sensitive and
delicate matter. The more you try to force a
friendship on the children, the more difficult it
may be. Relax, be yourself and let a friendship
develop.
