Home    •    Forum / Community    •    Free Offers     •     Classifieds     •     Gifting Program

Top

» Search

Techniques of an Identity Thief

Shiva Brent Sharma, who is serving a two- to four-year prison term, describes the techniques he used as an online identity thief.

read more



Madlynn is Kid of the Month

The Milk Gap



The Times's Jodi Kantor looks at the class divide for nursing mothers in the workplace.

read more...

Visits Don't Always Lead to Adoption



Programs that allow children available for adoption to visit American families often lead to happily-ever-after, but sometimes end painfully.

read more...

Taking Prescriptions on the Road



It is not required to carry copies of your prescriptions with you when you travel, but business travel columnist Joe Sharkey says it might not be a bad idea.

read more...

 

Consumer: top stories
 

Top

Single Moms - find here resources on financial aid, scholarships, help with basic needs, food, prescription drugs, health care, housing, legal info, and much more...


Rebuilding: Being Authentically “You”

 

Contributed by Jennifer Snyder

I once read a fascinating, but all too realistic, story about a woman who opened her closet door and out tumbled various pieces of sporting equipment and memorabilia.

 

While these possessions represented the last decade of her life, she didn’t realize until putting them all away that she felt no connection to anything in her closet. You see, this poor woman had put aside her own interests for the hobbies of a long line of significant others. Standing before her newly straightened shelves, she recalled relationships with Partner A in the water skis, Partner B in the bicycle helmet, and Partner C with a paintball gun. She asked herself, “How could I have given up so much of myself so that nothing in my closet reflects my own interests?”

 

My simple answer is that she had a desire to fit in and be accepted. It’s a pretty safe bet that if a woman wants to become her partner’s ideal mate, she only needs to transform herself into that person. And it happens … again, and again, and again.

 

Still, we wonder, what does this cost her? And, is it fair to her significant other? Maybe, most importantly, we need to recognize that following this plan of action leads her to never finding a true ideal mate.

 

Like many of my clients, I was raised with the unspoken messages of not asking for too much, and not being too vocal about my strengths. As a result, this upbringing and my need to be accepted after my divorce found me dating men who didn’t require much from their partner. At the same time, they didn’t offer much, either.

 

If you were looking for your ideal partner today, would you really be interested in someone whose only goal was to become your vision of a good mate? Would you want to spend time with someone who presented himself one way, but after the curtain was drawn, you saw something much different? Whether the person is a significant other or a female acquaintance, isn’t this image a little unsettling?

 

Last month I received an unsolicited email from a marketing group that not only promised results, but also assured me I could earn a six-figure income. Since my business is not focused on earning large amounts of money, I immediately tried to remove myself from their database. Over the course of several weeks, I learned that the “customer support” department I was led to believe was in New York was actually an answering service in Reno, Nevada. Further investigation found that the “nationally recognized author and speaker” leading their teleclass had no citations on Amazon or affiliations with the National Speakers Association. I finally discovered that this marketing group was simply selling software to small businesses to track leads.

 

Did I feel like this dishonest company had victimized me? Absolutely!

 

After the dust settled, it occurred to me that this is the same type of role-playing many people engage in to ensure companionship. While I don’t believe most women are trying to fool a mate with smoke and mirrors, I do fear that many transform their lives to match their partner’s because they don’t yet know who they are, what their likes and dislikes are, or how to measure their goals and values.

 

A staggering number of women in my divorce workshops say, “I’ve given so much to my ex-husband and the family that I feel like I’m left with nothing. I couldn’t even tell you my favorite color, or what I want for dinner.” My heart immediately goes out to these women because years ago, their words were mine.

 

Sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places. A few weeks ago, while preparing for an appearance on an Orlando news program, I had to confront my comfortable pattern of downplaying my strengths. In the length of a short guest feature, I had to explain the ways I help women, and why I’m good at my work. This moment was significant for me, and one I will remember every time I find myself wanting to go back to that old habit of not being true to myself.

 

You can win in relationships and business by authentically knowing and being who you are, using the skills you bring to the table, and having a level of comfort that allows for flexibility and change.

 

Women shortchange themselves by jumping into relationships before taking the time to fully discover and appreciate themselves. They don’t stop to think about the characteristics they desire in a partner.

 

Are you looking for your ideal relationship?

 

Surprise — it all begins with being authentically you.

 

About Author:

Jennifer Snyder, acclaimed life coach and workshop leader, women’s columnist, and tele-instructor has worked with almost 9,000 women across the United States. Her clients are separated and divorced women who cannot wait to proclaim their power. She is the author of a self-discovery workbook, The Time of Your Life: A Creative Sourcebook for Women. The Sourcebook can be ordered at www.timeofyourlifeafterdivorce.com.

 

Jennifer can be reached at 919/414-7197 or visit her Web site at www.timeofyourlifeafterdivorce.com.

Top

Utility Prices are Significant Expenses

by Randi Lynn Millward

I don't know about you, but my electric bill is sky-high. I've been running around the house unplugging everything in sight so as not to incur charges from my appliances using "phantom energy".

read more...

Because you are somebody special!

by Annette Bridges

Since my trip to Italy, my husband and I have enjoyed a delicious breakfast routine that often includes French toast, fresh fruit and a yummy cup of cappuccino.

read more...

Our Friendships

by Laurie Cesario-Overton

We all have those days when we get overwhelmed and it seems like every time we turn around there is another problem.

read more...

3 Money Rules for Stay-at-Home Moms

As we all know, life is unpredictable. We lose jobs, get divorced and even become widowed...
Here are three steps stay-at-home parents should take to better manage their own and the family’s finances.

read more...

You May Have Too Much Debt But You Also Have Options

How Life Works

If you feel like you're in over your head with personal debt, you're not alone. Millions of Americans have become overextended, many as a result of easy credit and the recessions. Credit cards, medical bills, personal loans and raising interest rates do not make a good financial mix.

read more...

Could fat babies mean fat toddlers?

A new study from Harvard Medical School found that babies who gained weight quickly had a sharply higher risk of obesity. The study followed close to 600 babies and found those in the top quarter of weight for their length at 6 months had a 40 percent higher risk of obesity by age 3 than smaller babies.

read more...

Offer to barter

Dr. Marie - Advice for Pet Owners

A vetʼs office is a business that requires a lot of services. In many cases your vet may be willing to barter in exchange for veterinary services.

read more...

How to Find the Best Car Loans for Single Moms

Financial Advice for Single Moms

The best car loans for single mothers might be just around the corner at your local car lot.

read more...

Crystal Bowersox - A Single Mom And A Real American Idol

Read how the amazing Crystal Bowersox. the runner-up of American Idol Season 9, handles fame and life as a single mom, raising her 17 month old son.

read more...

5 Ways for Single Moms to Save Money

Single moms are always looking for ways to save money, and for good reason... It’s important to find ways to cut corners on the little things that perhaps you don’t think about too often, because those are usually where your biggest money drains are.

read more

Suze Orman's Recession Rescue Plan - helps you survive in times of financial crisis

OPRAH.com

Do you know what your family would do if you lost your job - or worse, your home? Financial expert Suze Orman is ready to help you devise a recession rescue plan to survive - and possibly thrive - during this deepening financial crisis...

read more...

Your Just-in-Case Emergency Plan

by RealSimple

Who do you call if you can't make it home in time to meet the kids' bus? Who do you trust to take in your mail when you're on vacation? Who do you trust with the extra set of keys to your house?

read more...

How to save $10,000

By Liz Pulliam Weston

If you were hoping for a list of small tweaks you could make in your spending to save $10,000 a year, sorry. The reality is that $10,000 is a lot of money. And saving big money usually means making big changes in the areas where we spend the most, such as: Housing, Transportation, Food.

read more...

The Super, Sexy, Single Mom on a Budget

by Renee Rayles

A quick reference guide designed for the busy, single mom who has

little time to read while running the mom taxi, cooking dinner, helping with homework, and trying to fit in a date night every now and then.

read more...

Single Mothers &
Male Role-Models / Mentors

Single mothers carry an enormous load of responsibility, especially those having sole and/or primary custody of minor children. They nourish, they nurture, they teach, they discipline, they shelter, they protect, and they provide… all without the assistance of another equally-invested adult.

read more...

Mom's Obesity Raises Newborn's Heart Risk

from the National Institute of Health

The more obese a woman is when she becomes pregnant, the greater the likelihood that her newborn baby will have a congenital heart defect, a new study suggests. The finding raises concerns because 1 in 5 women are obese at the start of pregnancy in the United States.

read more...

The 10-Ingredient Shopping Trip

By Tara Parker-Pope and Mark Bittman

... In his latest “How to Cook Everything” segment on the Today Show, New York Times food writer Mark Bittman makes it surprisingly easy to cook a week’s worth of dinners with just a 10-ingredient shopping trip.

read more...

Your 5-minute guide to protecting your identity

20 steps to protect yourself from identity theft, and seven ways to clean up things if you become a victim.

read more...

Single Moms in the News

6 Best Celebrity Single Moms
Read about Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Michelle Williams, Reese Witherspoon, Kimora Lee Simmons, Mary-Louise Parker... read more

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw

by Jeff Kinney

For those wondering why tween boys don’t read very much, the answer is that more books aren’t like this...

read more...

Top

SingleMom.com™ Pages:   Home  •  About SingleMom.com™  •  Privacy Policy  •  Contact us

SingleMom.com™ Features:   Forum / Community  •  Free Offers  •  Classifieds  •  Gifting Program

SingleMom.com™ Sections:   Ask “Joy”  •  Education & Career  •  Help for Moms in Need  •  Housing  •  Kid Stuff  •  Parenting  •  Day to Day  •  Health & Well Being  •  Cooking & Recipes  •  Legal Issues  •  Finances

© 2005-2010 SingleMom.com™, Sponsored by Internet Genesis™ company, All Rights Reserved.
Revised: 01 September 2010.