Parenting Question

“At my recent baby shower, one of my favorite gifts was your book When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You. I absolutely love that it is so easy-to-read. This may be a silly question but, as a mom who has not yet given birth, I am wondering if there are any proactive strategies for preventing behavior problems down the road that I could start focusing on or learning now. Thoughts? Thanks again for your book!“—Soon-To-Be Momma

Positive Parenting Tip from Kelly Nault:
Clinical Counselor and Author of
When You're About to Go Off the Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids With You

Dear Soon-To-Be Momma:

Good for you for wanting to find proactive strategies for preventing behavior problems now! When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You offers over 200 proactive strategies for preventing behavior problems that are simple and effective. Allow me to share with you three of my most powerful proactive strategies for preventing behavior problems:

Put yourself first—for the sake of your kids.
During my parenting workshops, I often say, “We’ve all heard it before, ‘When momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!’” Dozens of dads nod in knowing agreement.  When “Super Mom” turns into “Super Stressed”, the results can be devastating for the entire family. That is why I believe if you love your kids, you need to start putting some of your needs first. I’ve seen it all too often: moms burning the candle at both ends headed on a one-way train for burnout. Self-care needs to be a necessity, rather than a luxury. Ask for help and accept help when it is offered. Modeling for your child what a happy, healthy adult looks like is essential. It is also essential for your child to know they are not the center of the universe and that you think enough of yourself to put some of your needs first. Although this may mean spending a little less time with your family, the time you do spend together will be more fulfilling and rewarding for everyone.

Put your relationship first—for the sake of your kids.
In order to maintain a joyful partnership, make sure you take the time, at least once each week, to just be together as a couple. No time? Make the time! This one act alone can strengthen your relationship and give your children a model of a healthy partnership. We need more healthy couples in this world! Choose to become one. A solid family starts with a solid couple! Remember that, once your children have left home, you will be left with one another. Making certain your significant other is one of your best friends now (instead of just a roommate who is like a stranger) will significantly decrease the chances of a rough road during the “empty nest” stage of life.

Put your faith first—for the sake of your kids.
Our connection to the divine acts as our compass, guiding us to safety during life's storms. It protects us with its light and helps us make choices that are in alignment with our hearts. Believing there is something larger than ourselves gives us the strength to make the changes we know we need to make. Our faith is also an essential "true north", an immovable constant we can turn to for help during those challenging “deep end” moments that come with the territory of parenting.

These three proactive strategies for preventing behavior problems can be the glue that holds your family together, the basis for making life's decisions, and the way to dramatically decrease behavior problems in your children.