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Standing On The Promises
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PARENTING RESOURCES
Helping a Lonely or Rejected Child
Written by
Lawrence J. Cohen
Running Low? How Would You Like FREE* Gasoline for One Year?
When a child comes home and says, "No one
likes me" or "everyone hates me," it can be
hard for parents to tell the difference
between temporary exclusion versus ongoing
rejection.
* Before you
intervene in your child's social difficulties,
ask yourself some questions about your own
history.
Where did you stand in the group in
term of popularity? What were your friendships
like at that age? Do you and your child have
different temperaments when it comes to
socializing?
*
Ask teachers,
friends and other parents what they see
when they observe your
child interacting with peers or classmates.
* Provide a variety
of group opportunities.
Church groups, scouts, drama club,
sports teams - these all provide an
alternative to school as a place for a child
to make their friends and gain acceptance.
* Don't go back to
school yourself!
Resist the temptation to march onto
playground and yell at the big kids for
picking on your child. Resist the urge to
gossip about their moms in the parking lot
after school.
* Give the shy
children a gentle push to try new social
challenges.
They need lots of support and
encouragement, while at the same time being
pushed out of their "comfort zone." If a child
is shy but would like to make friend, it can
help to invite over classmate and the
classmate's parents; the kids will find the
adults boring and, eventually, go off to play
together.
* Teach socially
awkward children basic skills for getting
along,
Such as how to guess what other
people are felling, how to join a group and
how to make friends.
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