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DIVORCE ARTICLES
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How to Turn Your Life Around with
Powerful Thoughts
By
Jennifer
Snyder
 I
hate to admit it now, but after my divorce, I spent more than one Sunday
afternoon in bed playing “Uber-Damsel in Distress”. Growing older and wiser may
result in a plethora of gray hair, but am I ever glad that those days are over.
A script similar to my own dramatic
whining will follow later in this article.
This isn’t the first commentary I
have written about acknowledging one’s power, but this is the first article I’ve
penned with a film and scientific data to support my motivational claims.
We recently rented the movie,
What The Bleep Do We Know.
 At the core of this film are the
provocative questions about the way we participate, consciously or not, in an
unfolding reality. I found many parts of this movie to be fascinating, but the
section that resonated most clearly for me was a part about the brain. You may
not accept all of the scientists’ claims but if their points are valid,
what I’m going to share with you can change your life.
The way I understand the theory
about brain function in What The Bleep is that if we think a certain way
for long enough, those connections between brain cells are strengthened and we
automatically default to that way of thinking. Throughout our day, we make
decisions about what events mean and what should be done about them. We aren’t
required to make a new decision with each circumstance because with repeated
experiences, our brain forms associations. Thus, if we accept limited power for
long enough, we begin to automatically go through life as a victim.
If, however, we begin responding in
a new way, we not only break free from victim thinking and experience happier
outcomes, but we reprogram the connections between brain cells so that positive
thinking is the direction in which they default. By choosing fresh, creative
responses we truly begin to experience a more positive, powerful life.
Okay, let’s put this theory into
Jennifer’s mournful role-play from a decade ago:
Setting:
Darkened bedroom; our main character (the dramatic victim) is in bed, almost
hidden by the covers over her head.
Plot: Our main character
lives primarily in fear and agrees to anything her former husband demands
because “he is powerful”, and she hates controversy. This latest dilemma is only
more of the same in an endless cycle perpetuated by her limited beliefs.
Lights…camera…action.
And we roll:
“There’s
nothing I can do. I can’t fight; he’s so powerful and can squash me like a bug.
I know I’ve said it before, but there’s nothing I can do. Yes, I’ll probably
lose the house and have to live under an overpass. Yes, even though I’m a great
mother he may sway someone into believing my children shouldn’t live with me.
Yes, I’ll probably grow old all by myself, and…”
Cut!
Couldn’t you almost hear those brain
cells leaping into their familiar, defeatist patterns?
I warned you that it wasn’t pretty.
Let’s get away from this angst.
But wait - before we shift our
thinking and turn things around, I must admit that the next step isn’t an easy
one. It will require you to pay attention to every reaction, and everything you
say, for a while.
Back in the early 90s, I wasn’t
blessed with the knowledge I’m sharing with you. I believe that courage,
support, and experience gradually liberated me from my own limited beliefs.
Otherwise, it would have taken that first stage of a rocket to launch this woman
from her boudoir of despair.
But you have the luxury of current
information. How can you rewrite your own script for powerful thinking, positive
brain connections, and better results?
Still allowing for just a little
drama, how about this reaction:
“Man, I would
hate to be so unhappy that I had to express my authority in disagreeable ways.
Okay, I’m not willing to give in to this demand but I can be a little more
flexible in another area Let me return his call now so we can move beyond this
difficulty. I am so grateful to have supportive friends who listen, and help me
to problem solve. At least this relationship gave us wonderful children.”
New responses and realigned connections in your
brain aren’t made overnight, but once they have been established, you’ll
proclaim your power like never before.
About Author:
Jennifer
Snyder
is a personal coach and workshop leader for divorced women who cannot wait to
proclaim their own power. She can be reached at 919.414.7197,
Email:
Time-of-Your-Life@nc.rr.com
or visit her
Website at
www.TimeOfYourLifeAfterDivorce.com and
www.SelfCareForWomen.net.
PROCLAIM YOUR POWER! |
