A Mother’s Son
So often we talk about how to get through life as a single mom. What to do about our financial problems, how to manage the ever changing roles single mothers carry. We discuss the relationships of our past, and talk about how we can make better choices in the future.
We share our worries, our burdens, our fears, and sometimes our joys. I think we need to celebrate our successes a little more.
As women we focus more on how to raise our girls right, teaching them to be strong young women, be visionaries for their generation and their bright futures. As women, we share the pain of body images and tell our girls to be comfortable in who they are…but what about our Sons? Are we teaching them and sending the right messages that it is just as important to be kind, compassionate, tolerant and loving?
This is a conversation my oldest son and I had recently as I was celebrating my birthday at a beach in CA.
I was sitting in my beach chair, as my kids and I were looking at the ocean, watching my grand kids laughing, being silly and playing in the sand. I asked my kids if you could go back to a time in your life what would you want to change. A couple of them gave answers of wishing they could have traveled abroad for college, another said, to have mapped out his schooling differently, but my oldest son said, “I wish I could feel more accomplished.”
Of all my kids I found his answer to be most unsettling. I asked him, “why do you feel this way?” He told me he should have gone for a higher degree so money wouldn’t be such an issue for his family. So he would feel more accomplished.
That opened Pandora’s Box….Brian is the kind of person you love to be around. He has a great personality, brings out the best in others and his respect for others is truly inspiring. He provides for his family, all four of them. He and his wife made the decision for her to stay home and raise the kids until they are in school. They have one of the best relationships for a younger couple (together almost 9 years) that I have ever known. He not only loves her, he shows her. He not only respects her, he gives that same respect and more. My daughter in law tells me Brian is a very good man, and she loves the way he values his family and his marriage. When he comes home from work, he is very much a hands on, loving daddy who engages himself into his children’s lives, and helps cultivate their curiosity about the world around them. He immediately scoops them up and offers to give his wife some personal time and even encourages her to take a Saturday yoga class if she wants. He doesn’t make his friends and the need to party a priority, his wife and family always come first.
So next time we worry about how we are raising our girls, don’t forget we need to be there as a role model for our sons too, and make it count. Brian didn’t have the loving guidance of a father figure growing up, but he had his mom teaching the values of integrity, honor, respect and compassion. I taught all my kids to “treat others, as you want to be treated too.”
I am proud to be the mother of 2 girls and 3 boys. It’s important to teach them both how to be a good person and value what matters most.
Remember our sons are the future boyfriends, husbands and fathers to young girls and young women, and someday I promise, everyone will want a “Brian”
for your daughter.
God Bless, Laurie.