Being a single mom forces you to occasionally make decisions that may resolve an immediate problem, but rarely do you get a chance to focus on the future and providing security for your family. In this economy one has to take what one can get, if anything at all. Then there comes a time, or several times, in everyone’s life where they are faced with a crossroads. I just recently faced mine.
My crossroads came about after two months of being unemployed. I was down and out, broke and losing all my belongings little by little, including my apartment. I was desperate to find work but nothing was coming though. I kept applying to mediocre jobs because that is all I am qualified for since I do not have a college education. Which means that none of these jobs would have provided me with what I was looking for, a stable and secure future for my son.
One day in the mist of my breakdown I woke up and had an epiphany. I made the choice right then and there that I was going to stop looking for work and focus on school. My thought process was that I could easily find a job that would provide enough funds to help me through this most recent crisis, but in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn’t a long-term plan. So, I came to the conclusion that although a job would be an easier route, it wasn’t going to secure my future.
Two days after I made that decision I received a job offer. It was for a decent firm and for a decent salary. As soon as I got the call I totally forgot about my epiphany and was ready to get back on the hamster wheel. I did it for about 3 days before I realized I was going to be riding this wheel till the day I died if I didn’t make a change NOW. From one day to the next I quit and got back on track with my original plan. There are tons of steps I need to take and it will take time, but some things are just worth waiting for.
The choice I made was not an easy one; in fact it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I knowingly made the choice to live with limited income, to leave my apartment and give up my independence. Despite all that, I’m happy. I know I did what is best for my family.
Sometimes we spend so much time worrying about the here and now that we forget we have our whole lives ahead of us. We are all going to hit bumps in the road and face cross roads with difficult decisions to be made, when this happens, it’s important to follow your heart. Your mind is your most powerful tool, but your heart will usually lead you in the right direction.
If there are any other moms out there who made similar choices, I would love to hear how you got through it and any tips would be appreciated!
Written by Veronica Diaz
I’m at my crossroads now. I’m a single mom of two boys, ages 3 & 5. I’m unemployed with no college degree. I have bills that I can’t pay…I keep extending my light bill & late on my gas bill as I write this. I’ve lost confidence & I feel like I have noone to turn to. I can’t get my kids anything for Christmas & its bringing me down further. I feel any decision I make is the.wrong one. The owner of the house we live in is trying to sell it & I think of what I’ll do if it sells. Where would we live? How would I pay for another home & all the expenses that go along with moving into a new place? I don’t see it as crossroads, though. I see it as bottomed out…nothing left but a little hope.
It’s always darkest before the dawn… Glad you were able to see the light. Now just keep yourself together, DO what you’ve set yourself up to even if it gets tough – don’t give up. And most importantly, THINK POSITIVE.
Thanks for the encouraging words Selina…and positive thoughts is all I am filled with!
-Veronica