When going back to dating again single moms tend to worry whether they should tell their kids about it. Since there is nothing serious at this stage, we tend to feel that involving the kids would be worrying them for no reason. But this is not a good strategy. Going back to dating without involving the kids could end up not being a good idea. Sooner or later the kids are going to find out about your dating and they will feel cheated that you did not tell them before. This could also lead to them feeling insecure and they could start to lie to you too.
Below are a few reasons why you should seek your kids consent when going back to dating:
- Information - When you inform the kids before going back to dating they don’t feel like they have been left in the dark. Instead of wondering why you have started to date again and hearing versions from other people, they will get the right information from you. This information makes them more confident of their situation and they are also free to ask you any questions that they may have. Knowing that you came to them first gives them a sense of being in control and this is very important at a stage when the kids are getting used to their father not being around. So always talk to the kids when you decide to go back to dating and always keep them in the loop about what is going on with your life. Knowing what to expect keeps the kids saner.
- No false hopes - Children often tend to hold on to false hopes. Some may wish that their parents get back together while others believe that their parents will not see anyone else ever again. Seeking the kids consent and putting your case in front of them helps kids to get over these false hopes. This holds true for both the mother as well as the father. Once over the false hope, kids can then continue to take on life as it is and get used to the fact that their parents will lead different lives. This realization is important for the children and talking to them about your dating will help put their false hopes to rest.
- Easy home atmosphere - If you have sought the consent of the kids before dating you will be much easier at home too. You will not be hiding things from them and you will not lead to lie to them. This means that the home front will be transparent. This openness helps the children to also stay honest with you. Your talking to them about your pains and the need to be with someone will encourage them to talk to you about their feelings too.
Single moms should most definitely talk to the kids before they get back to dating. If the children are old enough, it is important to seek their consent too. You will be surprised how insightful children can be. So keep them in the loop with the dating scenario in your life so that your dating goes through smoothly.