All siblings fight, some more and some less. Some fights are small and resolve themselves while there are those that have the potential of growing into something much bigger and damaging. As moms we need to be able to learn how to identify the dangerous fights and also need to keep in mind that sometimes frequent small fights can ruin the relationship between siblings.
If you find that your kids are forever fighting, it is important to take some steps to make their relationship better since sweeping the fights under the carpet will only make matters worse. A few tips below on how to deal with sibling rivalry will help to better the situation –
- Never take sides – In most cases sibling rivalry will increase as one child begins to feel that parents favor the other one. Irrespective of the age of the kids or their gender, make sure you are fair with them when it comes to sorting out fights. So in case your three year old has just broken the ten year old’s favorite plane, make sure the younger one is reprimanded while you can later ask the older one to keep things out of the toddlers reach and forgive the younger one since she is learning and too small to know. In case you refuse to reprimand the younger child purely because she is younger, this will definitely not go down well with the older sibling. So make sure that you never take sides and always decide fairly.
- Encourage communication – Most fights tend to get bigger than they are when the lines of communication are shut down. So if the kids have fought and are not talking to each other, encourage them to sort it out by communicating. The idea is to drive the point home that almost anything can be sorted out much better by talking rather than fighting, hitting or giving each other the cold treatment. While initially you can sit with the kids while they talk, over the years you will find that the children are able to sort it out without having to need you at all.
- Be good role models – Children will often learn from their parents and if you are your spouse are fighting a lot, the kids are sure to pick it up. On the other hand if the children find that your fights are sorted out peacefully with the main purpose being resolution, they will also learn to find solutions for their problems. So make sure you are setting a good example for the kids instead of just preaching empty words to them.
Children always fight, but as a mom if you are able to cultivate a family bond between the siblings you will find that despite their fights, these kids will grow up as support systems for each other. This support system is important when the kids grow up since it is this feeling of family ties that keeps the siblings secure and emotionally stable too. Again, it is of highest importance that you never show preference towards on kid.