You know that guy that you’ve had your eye on for a while, but haven’t had the nerve to pursue him? Well, it’s time to take it to the next level!
Women can be so timid when it comes to pursuing their love interest. Modern day encourages women to take initiative. So what are you waiting for? Let him know you like him because you are too smart to let a really good opportunity pass you up. Chances are, he’s noticed you too.
After my divorce, I decided that I was no longer going to play by the rules. I decided that from now on when it comes to dating, I’m going to do things my way…the fun way! I no longer play the timid, shy little girl I was before. Now when I see a man I’m interested in, I use my creative little brain to let him know. I’ve learned that when you let them know the right way, they see you for the confident woman you are right off the bat! Men love it when a woman knows what she wants and she isn’t afraid to go after it. So now for my little tricks that I’ve learned. I’m only offering the best of them!
1. Get your timing right
Don’t wink at your coworker while he’s on a very intense phone call with a client. Chances are, he’ll raise an eyebrow at you and think you’re a little crazy. Timing can make a big difference on what he’ll take your advance and if he’ll have lingering thoughts and curiosity about you. When letting him know you’re interested, think about the best time to do it. Let him know when he’s not in the middle of a stressful situation and/or atmosphere. Let him know when the work day is done and he’s getting ready to leave. If it’s the guy at your gym, let him casually know when he’s done with his workout and you just happen to cross his path as he’s walking to the locker room (now of course this isn’t a coincidence but make it seem that way). The point here is you want to leave a lasting impression and you can’t do that when he’s obviously got a million other things on his mind.
2. The “Oh So Smoldering” eye contact
This is one of my favorites because if you don’t hold back, you can say so much with your eyes in just 5 seconds of eye contact. Again, your timing has to be good for this to be optimal. Practice your look in the mirror at home if you want. Studies have shown that when you look up at a man with your chin slightly pointed down, your eyes appear wider appealing to his natural instincts of “hunter finding a mate”. When you look up at him, you naturally make him feel bigger…stronger and manlier. We all know men like to feel manly! So next time you are in the same room as him, anticipate your look, wait till he looks at you, then lay it on him girl! Let your eyes tell him that you can’t help but notice him and that you want him to know. Give him “the look” for about 5 seconds without blinking and then look away.
* Afterwards, casually look to see if he starts looking at you differently or if he starts acting a little different. Chances are, you just opened a door for him.
3. Got Facebook? Use it!
Everyone these days has a Facebook profile and that means your guy probably does too. This is a trick that I’ve used on occasion and it’s a great way to start a casual conversation. See if he’s on Facebook and if he is, send him a friend request along with a little message such as “Hey! It’s Kristy from the gym. I was wondering if you could show me how to do some bicep curls”. This gives him a great opportunity to talk to you, get to know you and show off his macho side a little. Plus, since you’re not face to face, there’s a lot less pressure being put on you both. If he doesn’t respond to your friend request and/or message…don’t worry! Let it go and be proud of yourself for having the courage to put yourself out there. Don’t avoid the gym either. It’s his loss!
4. Let him see your real beauty
After reading numerous Cosmo articles and listening to the men I’ve dated, I’ve learned that men love to see a woman without all the makeup. They are intrigued by our natural beauty because when you step out into public without all the color, you exude confidence. When you proudly let him see what you look like without the face paint, you let him see that you are comfortable in your own skin and that you’re confident. You are telling him that there’s more than just physical beauty to you and he’s going to be curious as to what else you have to offer him.
I have a few wrinkles under my eyes and I’m nowhere near perfect but I wear my imperfections proudly. They give me character and so do yours! So put on a little mascara, some bronzer and natural looking lip gloss and let him see you “underneath it all”. Try my favorite e.l.f. product. The 3 in 1 mascara in Very Black here…
5. Talk to him!
This one is no secret. Honestly, I think the best way to let a man know that you’re interested is by using the direct approach. Sure, it takes courage to approach a guy you’re interested in but afterwards you will feel bolder and braver than before and it cuts out all of the guessing work. You will know after talking to him whether he is interested or not.
By approaching him and talking to him in person, you can see his reaction to you. You can put body language to the words. Does he fidget or stutter? Does he make and hold eye contact with you? Does he face you and seem interested in what you have to say? Does he seem to want to keep the conversation going by asking you questions? Does he laugh when you say something funny? If he does, then great! Those are all good signs that he’s interested!
Does he cross his arms? Does he look away and seem uninterested? Does he keep the conversation short and sweet? If so, then cut the conversation short in a polite casual way and run for the rock you’re going to hide under! (Just kidding about the rock) but if he does any of the above in this paragraph then chances are he’s not interested. Again, at least you tried! And now you’ll be that much more confident for the next possibility that crosses your path.
We spend our whole lives subconsciously studying and learning body language. So it’s no wonder that a face to face conversation will give you the best idea of whether or not he’s interested. If he is, then you’ve also just taken a lot of pressure off of him to make a move!
Here’s a few pointers on striking up a conversation with him:
- Don’t talk about yourself too much.
- Ask him about something he’s interested in. People love to talk about themselves
- If he says something funny, laugh! Even if it’s not funny
- Smile and make eye contact when he’s talking to you. Show him that you’re interested in what he’s saying.
- If you’re comfortable and it feels right, suggest meeting up for coffee later to carry on your conversation!
Now that I’ve given you some tips, I expect you to use them! You never know, you could find yourself with him on your first date this weekend!
Want to know how to read his body language? Try these articles…