Being a single mom is not an easy task and there are several hurdles that need to be crossed in the right way if we are going to be able to win the race of being a single mom. One of these hurdles is introducing the new man in your life to your kids. Children often don’t take kindly to this move since they want to believe that their parents are going to be with each other forever. The anxiety of not having their father around can increase if you do not introduce the new man in the right way.
So take time to think about how you are going to make this introduction so that your relationship with the kids does not suffer. Some tips below will help make the task easier for you:
- Make children the focus – You may choose to have the man in question come home to meet the kids or maybe you could take them out to meet him. In either case it is important that you make the kids the focus of the meeting. If the man comes to your home, ask him to carry something for the kids that they would like. A particular candy, ice-cream or even a toy that the kids have been looking forward to, will serve the purpose well. If stepping out pick a place that is child friendly or a place where the kids have wanted to go for some time now. This will help keep the mood of the kids happy and they will be more open to accepting the new man in your life.
- Keep it real – In our desire to have the children comfortable with the situation, we often tend to go overboard and this makes it all the more worse. It is important that you do not try and go overboard in showing your affection to the kids, and the man in your life must also not try too hard too please them. High fives, pet names and over enthusiasm will simply land your guys into a suspicious circle and the kids are going to get more cautious, or they will expect the same treatment for each meeting. So keep the interactions real and normal so that the children have time to take it all in at a pace suitable to them.
Let the kids get to know the man at their level and do not try and impose your opinion on them. Also do stay patient since it is not like the kids and your man will bond at the first meeting. If the man is the right one for you, over time the kids will open up to him, and they will begin to talk and hang out. If you push them too much, it will make the children uncomfortable. So relax, if he is the right man, it will not matter if the children like him in 20 seconds or 20 days or even 20 weeks.