Our children are very precious to us and this is the reason why we guard them like vigilant soldiers. We do not want to expose them to anything bad and will often fret about them making mistakes. But just like we can’t teach our kids to walk in theory but instead they have to take the steps themselves and fall and try again and fall again, so is the case with life too. Of course as a parent we also need to make sure that the mistakes that our kids make are not so severe that they are unable to recover from them.
So striking a balance is what is important here. Below are some tips on how to let your child make mistakes while also ensuring that you have the major caution points covered:
- Think back to your time – We forget that we were kids too and learned only by making mistakes. We often expect our children to be perfection personified. This can become a huge problem for the child who is constantly trying to live up to perfection. When the kid does make a mistake, which is inevitable, he/she begins to feel like a failure and a disappointment to the parents. Remember how things were with you when you were a kid and how the lessons you learned then helped carve your personality now. Let your child also make his/her own mistakes and don’t press panic buttons uselessly. You must have banged your car too while learning how to drive, must have broken some porcelain while playing ball inside the house or even tried to cheat your way out of a situation.
- Accept mistakes as inevitable - In order to strike a balance between letting our kids make mistakes and protecting them from making certain mistakes, we have to first begin by accepting that mistakes are inevitable. All children will fail one time or another, they will fall and they will make mistakes. Your child will do the same. Do not take it as a blotch on your parenting and do not attack the child verbally. Accept that the kid has made a mistake and try and ensure that the child learns from the mistake, and most importantly feels loved at all given times.
- Teach practically rather than sermonize - In trying to teach our kids the lessons of life we will often begin to sermonize. This is a big mistake. Even kindergarteners are today taught through example, as opposed to by the book. The lessons that reality teach us is definitely much stronger. So always teach by example and show the child in practice how certain actions will inevitably lead to certain results.
The one thing that is integral to a relationship is keeping the communications line open and this holds true for the parent child relationship too. This means that the child should talk to you and you should talk to the child. One way traffic will not yield many results. So keep these tips in mind and let your children find their path without you taking each and every decision for them just to stop them from making a mistake.