Growing up…Every little girl dreams of the day that she would become a mother, a wife and the many things she wishes to accomplish in life. Let me tell you that I have been a wife, I have became a mother and yes I have accomplished a lot in life.
My life was surrounded by a long term relationship out of high school. Many individuals can relate to dating their high school sweetheart. Every relationship has obstacles and many relationships, you can pull out the pros and cons to help build stronger relationships along your journey to find your price charming.
One night changed my life forever. One night changed my relationship, changed who I was and forever changed my life. One night made me a single mother. One night changed my life, one night changed my relationship of eight years, which changed my marriage of two years and one night… I am thankful for!
Did I just say that I am thankful for one night that forever changed my life? The one night that ended my marriage? This is was my child, not his DNA but his DNA.
At the beginning, I thought I was the only one with this situation. Who could do this? How could this happen? These are all the questions that I started my journey with and today, I am thankful. Let me tell you, people can judge you and criticize you but it’s who you create yourself to be. I am not the only person that has this situation, I am not the only person that has struggled with DNA situations and today, I want to help individuals in this position.
Recognizing all of the signs that I had regret, fear, guilt and I would say depression in my life. One night that forever changed my life. At this time, I called this “one night” a failure, a mistake and something that I couldn’t understand why it happened. How was I going to accept my situation? How was I going to forgive myself? Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re in a DNA situation or a divorce. Someone out there cares!
My journey started in January 2010 when my baby boy was born. My journey for myself and my son started in February 2013 and I am sitting here writing this in September 2015/February 2016.
January 2015, I asked for help. I walked into a building; lost, confused, tears rolling down my face and words that I couldn’t put into sentences. I never knew if it would take days, week, months or years but I knew that I needed to accept my decisions, forgive myself, find myself and truly understand everything that was surrounding my inner circle. It took me eight months to accept my journey, find who I am, accept what has happened and has give me the power to move forward as my own individual and as a single mother.
Today, I understand and have accepted why I made the decisions that I made the night that my life changed. I try and shift negative thoughts/sayings into a positive perspective to better things in my life.
I am someone who lived a lie; a lie that made me change as a person but today, I am standing up as the person that I want to be. I feel sometimes that a person has to go through a huge change, an impact and the most difficult situation to become who they want to be. Without challenge, you may never get where you want to be in life and as a person.
A year ago, I regretted everything that I did. Today, I have a better understanding to why I did it and without it, I wouldn’t be the person I’ve encouraged myself to be and the mother that my son deserves.
This is my child, this is God’s child and this child is the one God has given me to raise on my own.
Throughout my journey, I believe God was brought into my life. The day that I found out that I was pregnant; was the day that I started praying daily. I have seen God work in the last six years in my situation which has brought faith in my life. I have a whole new perspective, love, understanding and truly something that I want to carry through my journey. God is in my journey now and I can’t wait to see what he has in store for us.
I have played out every scenario and narrowed down the best paths to take in my situation which has led me to where I am at today and who I am today which I am thankful.
I no longer feel guilty for my decisions, I may have been judged and maybe still judged for this situation but they haven’t walked in my path. I am truly thankful for this path because it has given me so
much more out of life then where I was. It has changed me into a better person. I have a better understanding of God, life, relationships and how to treat individuals.
Today, I call my “mistake” and “failure”…My biggest blessing in my life. My heart is so full, my love is so strong and my child is the biggest reward/accomplishment in my life. He has filled my life with much more than I could ever imagine.
I’ve taken a few days, maybe even weeks to think about my future. What does my future hold? I question myself, do I know where it’s going? No, I don’t know where my future is going but I am very excited to find out what life has in store. As I think back on my past and my present, I have succeeded a lot. I’ve put myself out there, I’ve stayed up late thinking about my life and I’ve had to hold myself countable on decisions that I’ve made to better my situation. I’ve done all that I can do to make the right changes and to do the right thing.
I am hopeful and excited where this journey is going! I am truly a single mother.
I am thankful for the father figure that my own father has been in his grandsons life. For being that role model that he can always look up to. For being there when needed!
For my son’s biological father..You’ve known for almost two years now. I did the right thing and told you the truth. I am thankful that God made us cross paths because I have a child but this child carries your DNA. Even though you’re not around, your DNA is, a child that looks and acts just like you. I am hoping for understanding and guidance to fulfill this situation for him. I am hoping that he gets acceptance and for this situation to be nothing but positive.
I hope this situation brings acceptance and understanding where you allow this child in your life. I have always said that I would never ask anything from you but I hope there comes a day that God brings him down your path and we can create a relationship that is positive, loving, accepting to make this work. This isn’t an ideal situation, but it’s our situation.
I want to help DNA situations, I want to help single mothers, I want to help mothers that are feeling lost and confused with DNA. I want to be a positive outlet to mothers out there that are a little bit lost.
Make a situation…A positive one!