As a single mom it is natural for you to have your work, kids, home and other such things on your mind. In some cases your ex may take up a lot of mind space too. Making room for new men in your life can get to be difficult at this stage. But if you are looking to move on and lead a happy, wholesome life, it is important that you open up your mind to new men, to meeting them and maybe finding compatibility again.
A few tips below will help single moms to open their minds to new men and move out of their misery zone:
- Baby steps – Instead of trying to figure out how things will work out for you if you meet new men, will they be nice, will you want to get into a relationship with them, do you wish to marry again and other such issues, simply begin by taking baby steps. Just step out and meet new people of all sorts. There is no need to build barrier and avoid meeting eligible men and similarly there is no need to make this the only focus on your life. Just take small steps towards feeling happy for the evening only. A dinner out, a drink with a new guy or even a cup of coffee with someone you met in the gym is enough. Just looking in the direction of meeting new people is going to be helpful.
- Positive thinking – As single moms we will often fall prey to negativity, especially when we are alone. Why our marriage ended, why we have to suffer the pain of being alone, why everything is so hard, etc are just a few negative thoughts than can make us feel miserable. To open our mind to new men, we need to push these thoughts away and look at life positively what happened was the past and tomorrow is a new morning. Tell yourself that you deserve happiness and will go for it again and again since you are no loser. Thinking positively will help to open your mind to new avenues and also to meeting new people and pursuing new relationships.
- Clean up the old – As married women, most ladies will close doors to meeting new men in order to pursue a relationship. They are settled and happy where they are. However, as single moms, the scenario is different. Keep in mind that the new can only be bought in, when the old is cleared out. It will be difficult for you to meet new men and date them with an open mind, unless you have cut off ties with your past. Let go of your older relationship, not just in real life but in your mind also. Once this place has been cleaned up, you can bring in the new and give the relationship full attention.
As a single mom it can get difficult sometimes to make room for dating and men. Keep the tips listed above in mind and you will be able to move ahead in this arena. Remember, you deserve to be happy and find love again, so do not close doors to new relationships, since there is no telling where it will lead you.
Baby Steps, love those tips! I have a habit of over analyzing a first date, to the point where I am asking about future goals and how they feel about kids. I never just take the time to just meet people. Maybe if I stop looking at everyone as a prospect I would have better luck! Love the article! Thanks!
My marriage ended after 15 long years of what I thought was happy. Needless to say, it left me bitter and I keep wondering why I should even bother with the whole thing again. Just recently my therapist was telling me that my divorce has left me quite a changed person and that got me thinking. I have learned a lot in these past 15 years and definitely am a different person. Maybe its time I take my chances again, for what is life if not another shot at happiness.
A lot of my friends keep telling me that in my mind I am still married and that is why I am not able to move on. I was married to a merchant navy captain and he would stay away for months on sea. I am so used to living by myself that even after the divorce; I continue to lead a married woman kind of life. I don’t pick up on lines given to me; I refuse dates and mostly step out with my girlie gang for lunches. After reading the article I do feel that its time to let my past go and open doors to new avenues. I think I will have to keep telling myself that I am a single woman and only then can I move on with my life.