False-evidence-appearing –real, that is the acronym for fear and how true it is. I have found that fear is a major obstacle to achieving my personal goals. It disguises itself in many ways – but mostly through my procrastination.
The truth is that I am a highly gifted and talented woman, but my fear (false, evidence, appearing, real) tells me otherwise. My fear keeps me paralyzed from moving in the positive direction I feel I need to go. Fear of people, fear of rejection, fears of failure, you name it; I fear it. For me it‘s so much easier to stay in fear than to conquer it.
What does conquering fear look like? Personally it starts with first acknowledging it – or naming it. What I’m I afraid of and why? What could be the worst thing to happen? Processing through my fear takes away its power and gives the power to me. After acknowledging and naming the fear, then I can make a plan of action to overcome it.
What is my first step? Acknowledge one step at a time. Looking too far into the future can create more fear- look at what you can do today. The big picture is not a bad thing; just make sure you break it down into small steps you can do daily or weekly, whatever your time allows. For example: I want to lose 20 lbs. – that looks and feels like a huge goal that will take time. Exactly! It will take time and patience with myself, I didn’t gain that 20 lbs. in a week, it took years, so will I give myself years to lose it? Probably not, I would get discouraged if it took that long, so realistically speaking how about three months to start. What can I do today to reach my goal? Maybe I can reduce my soda intake to one a day, not too hard, right? I must remember I’m not just changing bad habits, I’m changing my lifestyle. A changed lifestyle takes time and my attention. When I have overcome one lifestyle change with the soda, then I can add one more. Some form of movement or should I say the dreaded word “exercise”. Exercise is one of the greatest forms of self-care, keeping it simple is key. Take walks with the kids or during your lunch break. Moving and raising your heart rate will burn calories and increase your metabolism.
Small changes in your lifestyle create big benefit and are easier to manage than a big overhaul. As women we tend to be perfectionist. I am now aware that my procrastination is caused by my perfectionism which is really caused by my fair of failure, “if I can’t do it right, I don’t want to do it at all”. That false, evidence, appearing, real is the stinking thinking that never works. Instead I can say to myself “what is the worse that could happen if I fail?” The answer: I will keep trying and doing my best. I can look at the areas of success in my life to inspire me to keep going. I am a thriving single mom – one big success! I can apply the same power I use to take care of my kids to taking care of myself.
Be good to yourself; take care of your body…..because no one else will. You are worth it!!
What is your FEAR: false-evidence-appearing-real?
Change will come when you start to look at your fear first. Overcome it, conquer it!! Believe in yourself!!
Written by Renee Blankenship