I think I could probably walk into a job making about $10/hr with my background in hospitality and rooms operation. So if I worked full time at a local hotel, I might bring home $400/week before taxes. The cost of before and after school care for three children – which I would need to work a day ... Read More »
Pancakes Taste Like Poverty: And Other Post-Divorce Revelations
... Sometimes you just have to go.
Three kids, no job, no education, no furniture, no plan - that was me.
I'd been a stay-at-home mom for the majority of my shaky relationship with my ex-husband. It was a relationship that started when I was barely out of high school. He and mothering were all I knew. I also knew that my marriage was unhealthy, bordering on abusive. But I was afraid.
I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of being a statistic. I was afraid of failure. But eventually, even more than that, I was afraid that my children would follow my footsteps.
At first, staying was "doing the right thing." Then I realized that "doing the right thing" meant saving myself.
That is the basis for my real-life account, "Pancakes Taste Like Poverty: And Other Post-Divorce Revelations." This memoir is a collection of my innermost thoughts and struggles collected from years worth of my blog posts and journals. Sometimes painful, sometimes hilarious and sometimes maddening this book touches on everything from absent dads to parenting to post-divorce dating. But most importantly, this book is about community, rebirth and love. I learned when you want a support group, you sometimes just have to go out and create it. I learned that even slow progress is progress. And most importantly, I learned that it is genuinely never too late to fall madly, deeply, head-over-heels in love...with yourself.
There is no chocolate and wine, there are no trips around the world, no Tarzans to swing in and save the damsel. What you will find in "Pancakes Taste Like Poverty: And Other Post-Divorce Revelations" is honesty, struggle, triumph and survival.
Find Pancakes Taste Like Poverty: And Other Post-Divorce Revelations, by Jessica Vivian on Amazon
Sistas Without Mistas (1)
I've been single parenting for about three years now. I have a lot of help. And even with all that help I'm still overwhelmed. But what I'm doing is nothing compared to what some of my homegirls are going through. Here's the thing. When a kid goes and shoots up a school, or robs a Circle K and ... Read More »
Stages of Loneliness (4)
Paralysis There is this strange dueling that goes on when you reach this stage of simultaneously feeling ready to date again, but also complete terror of even speaking to the opposite sex ever again. Maybe that's a little melodramatic. My landlord is a dude and I can speak to him just ... Read More »
Stages of Loneliness (3)
Repulsion I became repulsed - completely repulsed - by the idea of sharing my space, my life, my bed, my words, my ideas, my opinions with another man ever, ever, ever. Everything every man ever did annoyed the living shit out of me. I was not the girl to vent to. If you said, "Ugh, my ... Read More »
Stages of Loneliness (2)
I have never been a romantic comedy girl. In 9th grade, Natural Born Killers was my favorite movie. I can still recite it. After that, indie character studies and documentaries became my go-to types. I refused to watch the Notebook. It took years and a handful of guys telling me "no for real, this ... Read More »
Stages of Loneliness (1)
Being alone is hard. Most people who get divorced aren't alone for long, gleefully flinging themselves into one anesthetizing tryst or soon-to-fail relationship after another. But those of us who lean toward masochism choose to hunker down and run headfirst into "dealing with our issues." ... Read More »
The Beginning of the End (2)
I looked at my life as someone's wife: I didn't finish college. I quit a job I was good at and that I loved, to support my husband's goals. I was forty pounds overweight. I was sleepy. I was angry. I was vengeful. I was getting migraines. I was miserable. And one day, I will die. There is ... Read More »
The Beginning of the End (1)
Excerpt from Pancakes Taste Like Poverty: And Other Post-Divorce Revelations, by Jessica Vivian. What's interesting about leaving a marriage is that what looks like the end is never the end for the person who's choosing to go. My eventual acceptance of my dead marriage came in the form of a ... Read More »
