Question from Kelly

Question from Kelly:

Hi, I have a little boy that will be 3 next week. He is stubborn as stubborn gets!!! He fights me on everything, even when i  agree with him… he fights me and changes his mind. I tell him about our day and what were going to and give him ten minutes notices before the situation changes, it doesn’t seem to help.  So I’ll do a count down 3  2 … he says one and giggles. So  I give him a time out, he screams and throws fits that just don’t seem to  end.   He refuses to listen to anything I say. Even on our zoo day, it’s a fight to get him out of the house, so this week I took it away.  I don’t want to be the mom that yells and spanks, but it’s the only thing that gets his attention a little bit, I don’t think it helps tho. He is currently at home with me all day and night because he keeps getting kicked out of daycare, I am a single mom.
I can’t find a daycare that will put up with him. I’m at the end of my rope PLEASE HELP ME, PLEASE!!  Also any of the work at home advice you have would be great.

Thanks a bunch,
Kelly

Answer from Veronica:

Dear Kelly,

Sounds like you have your hands full with your little one. What I notice most in your question, is how you give him advance notice and on top of that, you even give him “the countdown”, which doesn’t’ seem to work. I tried this with my own son, it didn’t get me very far. It gave him the illusion that he had a say-so it what we did/did not do. Once I noticed this method was not working in my favor, I went to another extreme, I let him cry it out. When it was time to get ready, I would go into his room, put his clothes on and tell him it was time to go. If he threw a fit, I put him in my arms and carried him to the car, kicking and screaming the whole way. I know this sounds harsh, and in public outings, it can be embarrassing, but don’t let that stop you.

When your son has another tantrum, try your hardest to ignore him. It will be hard, and he might even cry for hours, but DO NOT give in. If he cries himself to sleep, that’s fine. If you keep this up, he will soon realize that crying will not get him his way. Eventually, he will try to communicate with you rather than throw fits. The outcome of this experiment lies with you. You have to be strong and take the control back. Stand your ground. When you say no, mean it. When it is time to go, go. Tears do not hurt them, in all reality, the only ones it hurts is the mommies.

You also mention that he is home with you because he keeps getting kicked out of day cares. I am not sure what daycare you are putting him in, but maybe you should try talking to the director of the school you choose prior to his start date. Let them know in advance of his behavioral issues. Discuss the possibility of working together as a team to resolve this issue. More times than not the schools will be willing to help you, so long as you are honest and upfront with them.

As for working from home, I did A LOT of research before responding to your post. It seems that most of the time, most of the work from home options include either a large startup fee, or they do not have a good return rate. If you really wanted to work from home to make some extra cash, maybe you should look into virtual assistant jobs. As I do not know what your work background is, it is hard for me to guide you in this. Try googling virtual assistant jobs in your state, you should find a lot of different sites to check out. Another option that I have heard of that works well for a lot of people is secret shopping. That one will also take some research on your part as those are local jobs. They also usually don’t have any start up fees, and if they do, it is probably a scam.

I do not know if I was able to help guide you in any way, and if things don’t turn around, or if they do, please come back and let me know. I would be glad to answer any other questions you may have and would love to hear of any progress you have made. Best of luck to you and your little guy!