Of course there are no rules set in stone that will lay our path for dating after divorce since this is completely a matter of personal choice. However, there are certain tips that will come in handy and help you assess if you are on the right path. Keep in mind that dating after divorce does require some brushing up since you are emotionally vulnerable and bouncing back may not be very easy.
Some of these rules of dating after divorce follow below:
- Don’t whine - In most cases when women return to a dating life after their divorce, they take their bitterness along. Their need to play the victim, curse their circumstances and bring up their ex every now and then can ruin the entire dating experience. If you are feeling low and down, hang out with friends instead. Step out on a date when you are ready to move on and have left your whining behind. Just as you would not want to be stuck with someone who is whining through the evening, your date does not wish to be in that position either.
- Don’t pressurize - While you may want to move on and begin your life all over again, don’t step out with this agenda on day one. Don’t talk about building a family and getting back to a married status and other such things. Take things slow and easy and allow the other person an ease to get to know you. It will be good if you don’t go rushing into another commitment so soon either. Let the relationship grow slowly and steadily instead of pressurizing the other person to commit to you.
- Don’t be self obsessed – Yes you have gone through your fair share of ups and downs but this does not mean that you forget that your dating involves another person. A self obsessed date is no ones idea of fun, so keep the conversation neutral and ask about your date also. Let him talk and get to know him as a person, instead of keeping the spot light on you and not looking beyond that at all.
- Do relax – The entire idea of getting back to dating after your divorce is to help you relax and have fun so don’t lose focus of this. Relax during your date and enjoy the evening fully. Have fun getting to know another person and bask in the moment instead of worrying about other stuff that may be on your mind. The more relaxed you are the more you will enjoy yourself and this is what will make your date a success.
Dating after divorce is not the same for everyone. While one person may find a great partner in the first person she dates, another may have a real bad experience of the first date after divorce. However, the idea is simply to go with whatever works the best for you and make your own choices and take responsibility for these choices too.