Having grown up with a father who was unavailable for her, her subconscious sought a way to fix the past. As a youth, she hadn’t been able to woo her father away from drugs and other women. But, now, as a woman, her subconscious was plotting to change the ending and win this time. While she couldn’t go back to the past and win her father’s attention away from drugs and the other demons that rules his life, she could choose a man who was unavailable and win him with her love, affection and devotion. In choosing another emotionally unavailable man, she was seeking to correct the painful reality of her past. This time, she was trying to forge a different ending—an ending in which she won the man in her life’s attention. Of course, she wasn’t consciously aware of this. All of this was in her subconscious. Her subconscious was making the decisions to ignore the signs that she was getting the same type of man (emotionally unavailable) but, in reality, this was what her subconscious was truly looking for. How else could she get the chance to fix the past? How else would she be able to finally turn the tables this time, by winning?
If you find yourself subconsciously attracting the same types of partners over and over again, taking a dating break to find out what is really going on in your subconscious is a smart idea. Life is hard. There’s no question about that. But we certainly do not need to make choices that make life even harder for ourselves. Sometimes, you’ve got to ask yourself, “Are my hardships God-given, beyond my control or am I making my life harder by making poor choices?” And if you feel that you are making some poor choices, particularly regarding men, then it’s always a good idea to take some time out and get some professional help, like counseling, in order to get to the root of why you tend to be attracted to certain men.
It’s a good idea to find out what issues/motivations are going on in our subconscious so that we can have greater control over the choices that we make. Even if we think we don’t have a serious enough problem that warrants going to counseling or therapy or treatment, it’s still a good idea to do it anyway. You never know what you might discover that can help you get to know yourself and your hidden subconscious desires a little better. And if you feel that your issues are indeed serious enough to seek help, take a break from dating and select a counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist that you feel comfortable with. It’s worth it to take some much needed time to heal and prepare yourself for a harmonious, productive relationship with a caring partner.
Similarly, if you are suffering mental/emotional issues (or suspect you are) from low self-esteem or depression or from panic attacks, for example, it might be a good idea to take a dating break and focus on healing yourself. Believe me, it would be well worth it. How do you know if you suffer from depression? Well, if you suspect you do, that’s reason enough to seek professional help. After all, it can only make you feel better.