I recently read an article advising a single mother who was disappointed with her lack of a dating life to focus on dating men who were single fathers because they’ll be more acceptable of her single mom status. Apparently there’s a lot of people out there who think they’re a much more suitable match for us single moms! I completely disagree!
First of all, you should never actively focus on one type of man. There are billions of men out there and not a single one is exactly like the other. How boring would that be if you only dated men with children or men who are divorced or men of one ethnic background? Diversity can add so much spice to your love life and open up so many different opportunities. What’s important is that you date someone that you are attracted to. Emotionally, physically, in ways you’re not even sure what to call them, you just have to be open to feeling them. I’ve dated men with children, without children, men from other countries, men who are divorced, never married and having so many different experiences has taught me that much more about what I want in a relationship and I couldn’t have learned any other way.
If he really wants to be with you, nothing will stop him. Let’s face it; we can’t help who we fall for. If a man really wants to be with you, the fact that you have kids isn’t going to stop him. He won’t fall for you because you are kid free, he’ll fall for you because of who you are and how you make him feel and these things have nothing to do with whether you have kids or not. I’ve been dating a great guy who used to tell me all the time that it wasn’t going to work out because I have kids but every time I’d go my own way, he’d come back with a vengeance because he missed how I make him feel. Now he never talks about my having kids and we have the most amazing times together. Men may say that they don’t want a woman with kids but in the end the truth is that if he feels good with you, that’s all that matters.
Any man would be lucky to win your heart and you know it! How awesome are you? Can you look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are an amazing and beautiful woman who brings light to the lives of every person lucky enough to cross your path? If not, then you need to do whatever it takes to believe you’re that awesome because you are! You are unique and beautiful in your own way and you can bring your own flavor of joy to his life that no one else can. Whatever it is that makes you you, no other woman out there has. Celebrate your uniqueness and believe in how wonderful you are and he will too.
Possibilities are endless for you. A lot of women limit themselves to men they feel are easy to get because they are afraid of rejection. Divorce and being a single mom can leave you very vulnerable and susceptible to a broken heart but don’t let that limit your possibilities! A big part of living is taking risks and believe me, there’s nothing out there that can break your heart beyond repair. You can get a man you feel would be hard to get just as easily as a man who you feel is easy to get. It’s all in how you love yourself. A little trick I do that has definitely improved my dating life is every morning, as a part of my meditation ritual I visualize the kind of love I want from a man. It’s whatever I want and the more I visualize it, the more I believe in it and the closer I get to actually having it. When you really believe in what it is you want and keep it fresh in your heart, you attract it. This is how the most innovative people throughout history have succeeded in making what they believed in a reality. They envisioned it so much that it became real. Believe in the man you want, see him and believe in endless possibilities because they’re just around the corner waiting for you to let them in.
Be unpredictable and adventurous! Your focus should be on feeling happy, not thinking happy. You may think you know exactly what it is that you want but another huge part of life is that we are constantly learning more about ourselves every day. We never stop learning about what makes us happy. If you only focus on what you think will make you happy, you may be missing out on some amazing opportunities popping up all around you! Let’s say you’re really attracted to a man who has no kids. Are you really going to write him off because you think that only a man with kids can make you happy? If so, then chances are you are denying yourself a lot. It’s much more exciting to be open to any possibility because you never know who you could fall for. Keep your eyes open, stop thinking so much and follow your heart! The man you fall in love with may be the exact opposite of everything you have been expecting.
Thinking you can only date men with a certain status, this is controlling. If you honestly think that you can only date men with kids or men who have been married before, this is a controlling behavior. You may as well hold interviews as though you’re filling a job position. You can’t judge a book by its cover and you can’t judge a man by his status. You can however judge a man’s ability to be a good match for you by how he makes you feel but feeling comes after thinking and this means you have to let go of control. Again, take risks and be vulnerable. If you like how he makes you feel then give him a chance regardless of whether or not he has kids because in the end you want to end up with someone because of how they make you feel not because of their status.
I say the only type of men you should eliminate from your dating pool is the men who threaten your happiness instead of adding to it. You are a goddess who has lived and experienced life at depths that could’ve suffocated anyone else and you still came out on top. You are strong, beautiful, compassionate, and rich in wisdom, nurturing, unique, and amazing and you can date any kind of man you want.