I’ve been single parenting for about three years now. I have a lot of help. And even with all that help I’m still overwhelmed. But what I’m doing is nothing compared to what some of my homegirls are going through.
Here’s the thing.
When a kid goes and shoots up a school, or robs a Circle K and it’s time to examine the child’s past and figure out why the tragedy happened, it’s really easy to settle on and/or blame the “single parent household.” And you and I know that usually (but not always) the single parent household is a “single mom household.”
We hear that children of single parents are more likely to live below the poverty level, are more prone to suicide, teen pregnancy, violence, obesity, depression, yadda yadda.
After the Sandy Hook shooting, my Facebook feed was littered with generally bitter comments toward single moms. It’s always the same old thing.
The women being blamed for “not keeping their legs together.” Black single moms almost universally being assumed to be on public assistance while driving Escalades.
Yes, it happens, but not as much as you would like to believe.
Even during the Presidential election, when pressed for the possible reasons behind gun violence, a lack of moral code and single parent households were both potential reasons.
Even some women I love and respect are quick to jump on the “single moms eat up all the welfare and ruin ‘murica” bandwagon.
No offense, but a lot of us single moms thought we’d be CEOs of our households until we died, crafting and fretting over cloth diapers and organic baby food. Sounds like heaven.
But instead we found ourselves alone and now we’re just trudging through.
The math necessary for success is pretty unbelievable.