Liz Murray, a woman whose parents were addicted to drugs and left her at a young age to fend for herself. At just the age of 13, Liz was homeless and starving. She slept in stairwells and shoplifted food to survive. However, she saw herself living a different life and so she went on to attend Harvard University and became a bestselling author and motivational speaker.
Anastasia Soare, a woman who fled Communist Romania during the Cold War in search of a better life. She arrived in America with no money and couldn’t speak English. She worked fourteen hour days until she decided to change her life. Now, she has turned her talent to shape eyebrows into a national and even global empire.
John Paul DeJoria, a man who as a young kid was put in a foster home with his brother because his mother couldn’t take care of him any longer ended up in a street gang and was nothing but trouble. In his twenties he was living out of a car with his infant son. Determined, he tried to work but kept getting fired and so his fate seemed clear…hopeless. But then, with just $700 to his name, he joined Paul Mitchell to create a partnership and became one of the biggest beauty product companies in the world. Have you ever used Paul Mitchell systems? Well now you know the story behind it.
What do these three have in common? They surrendered to their circumstances and this allowed them to go above and beyond what seemed possible for them. We all have bad days and we all go through hard times. Especially as a single parent, sometimes it can seem as though the world has forgotten you and left you to fight on your own. But it’s these hard times that may be the biggest blessing in your life because when times are hard, your desires grow equally as strong. Maybe you’re a single mother who is working more than one job and just barely making ends meet. You’re sleep deprived and feel so guilty that you can’t give your children all they deserve. You desire to work a fulfilling job, to have more money and time and a big beautiful house with a huge backyard that your children can explore. Maybe you’re suffering a life threatening illness and your burning desire is to feel healthy again. Whatever your situation, it’s in your darkest moments that you have the power to realize your biggest dreams. That’s exactly what the people mentioned above did and they completely transformed their lives. You can too.
Surrender. Surrendering is the first step to transforming any situation. So what do I mean by surrender? When most people hear surrender they think it means to give up, to wave your white flag and let whatever happens happen but no!, that’s not surrendering! That is giving up.
When I say surrender, I mean for you to accept where you are…right now…accept everything that is your situation. Accept the circumstances, your feelings and others feelings. A lot of us when we are faced with a hard situation, we want to fight it, to be angry and we spend so much time resisting things that this resistance builds and builds and makes the situation harder. You can’t afford your bills and so you lay awake at night worrying about it and that worry just makes things worse. Our resistance to what is keeps us from being able to change things. It keeps us stuck where we are because how can you move on when you’re so busy worrying?
But when you surrender to what is you accept things. You take a deep breath and think “Okay, things suck right now but this is where I am and that’s okay.” You trust that things are going to work out and when you do this, you free the capacity to start seeing solutions to your situation. How can you see solutions when you’re so focused on the problem? You can’t! So accept the problem and start seeing the solutions. The people above, they didn’t waste time complaining and feeling sorry for themselves. They didn’t allow their situation to diminish their worth. They accepted where they were in life and their acceptance freed their vision to focus on a new life. You can change any situation and the first step is to surrender.
Trust. The second step is to trust that things are working out for you. Everything happens for a reason and here’s the reason. Every single one of us was put here to contribute something to the world. We each have a unique gift to offer to others but it isn’t until we remember who we really are that we can give our gift to its fullest. Life is one big journey and you’re here to remember who you really are. Your life is unfolding with divine timing in such a way that you are given the opportunity to remember who you are. The hard times we go through show us how strong we are and what we desire more than anything! When things seem impossible and hopeless is when your true desires are bursting with energy inside of you. Calling you to them! But if you’re so busy being stuck in despair, you won’t see them. However, if you can surrender and trust that your life is taking this path for a reason and that everything is working out for you, you can start living the life you dream of.
You are here to discover who you are and the universe is supporting you every step of the way whether you realize it or not. There is something bigger that you are a part of and you are never alone in your journey. You are supported in ways you can’t even understand. Just trust that God and the universe have your back and give God your worries so that you can stop worrying and start dreaming.
I remember a few years ago when I was living paycheck to paycheck and raising my two kids as a single mother. I worried endlessly about where my life was headed, how I could make more money and if I would ever be able to give my kids the lives they deserve. I cried so much and felt so alone and I prayed every night for God to show me what to do. I felt so hopeless and every day seemed to be the same. It wasn’t until I decided that it was time to stop worrying and start being grateful for what I had that the door to a new life opened for me. I decided to let go of my worries and start trusting that things were working out for me. I can’t even explain exactly how I got to where I am now because through trusting the universe to take over, I let go of control and gave it to God. I started following my heart and focusing on just being happy in the moment and things just started happening for me with no obvious reason. Like I mysteriously received a $3000.00 payment on a credit card that I was desperately trying to pay down and when I tried to call the credit card company to get to the bottom of it, they told me the payment was legit and made by someone intentionally but couldn’t give me a name. Or when I really needed my car fixed but didn’t have the money…well I got into a minor accident that wasn’t my fault and my car was fixed completely free of charge for me. Things like this just started happening! It was as though the universe was telling me not to worry because it’s working out everything for me. It’s okay to not know how things will work out and be solved. Just trust that they will. Haven’t you spent enough time worrying about how things will work out? Like the saying, “let that shit go” and start dreaming about how wonderful things will be when your desires do work themselves out.
Knowing. Part of surrendering is to know without a doubt that things are working out and that you are on your way to fulfilling your dreams. You don’t need proof. Needing proof that things are working out isn’t trusting. When you can know and feel it in your bones that things are working out is when things really start shifting. Think about it…why do the hard times feel so bad? Because suffering is not who you really are! Not fulfilling your dreams is not who you really are! You are meant to have a beautiful life and somewhere deep in your heart, you know this! Practice knowing every day. Find time to daydream and remind yourself that you know you are meant to live your dreams. It’s okay if you don’t really believe it at first because this knowing is something that may still be mostly in your subconscious and when you give it attention every day, your beliefs will grow and grow until you know without a doubt that your dreams are becoming a reality.
Patience. This is so important in surrendering. It’s hard to be patient when you don’t know how things are going to work out because we are so goal oriented. We want to take action and make things happen but this isn’t trusting. When you can trust that things are going to work out you’re able to be patient because you’re not worried whether things will work out or not. The only thing you don’t know is how but guess what? The how isn’t your work. When you surrender, you give control up to something bigger than you. Let things work out in divine timing and they’ll work out better than you could ever imagine.
Be open to new ideas. When you surrender and stop worrying about being in control to making things happen, you open your life to a world of possibilities and the road to these possibilities start with new ideas. Stop doubting yourself and telling yourself no or I can’t. Do you think J.K. Rowling (author of the Harry Potter series) doubted herself when she was struggling to support her daughter on welfare? Maybe she did a little but what dominated her mind was creativity, her dreams of a better life and a new idea that came to her in the form of Harry Potter. Outside of your worries and doubts is a universe that is bigger than we can even comprehend that is full of endless possibilities! Let go of worry and let these possibilities in. How will you know when one presents itself to you? You’ll have an idea that excites you. It feels new and it touches you deeply. It bugs you until you give it attention. Follow this idea and see where it takes you.
Follow your heart. People always say you either follow your head or your heart. Well I say follow your heart…always! Logic is often laced with fear and doubt but your heart knows faith and trust and your heart will lead you to fulfilling your biggest desires. I recently learned this when I made the decision to go back to grad school. Logic told me that it was impossible for a single mother raising two kids, working a full time and part time job and barely having enough time to sleep to somehow fit in grad school. But my heart told me that if I really want something that all I have to do is believe in it and it’ll happen. So I applied to grad school and got accepted! I don’t worry about how I’m doing it. That part I’ve left to God. I’m just following my heart and counting my blessings to graduation. I followed my heart and my dream is unfolding right now, day by day. Who cares if what you desire is crazy and seems worlds away. If you can feel it in your heart, you’re much closer than you realize.
Surrender to your current situation and embrace it for what it is. It’s temporary and it will change but if you resist allowing the change, you’ll only hold yourself right where you are.
Trust that everything is working out for you. Even if you can’t see this but there’s always a bigger picture and one day you will understand why things have happened in your life.
Know without a doubt that your life is on a beautiful and abundant path and practice your knowing every day until it becomes a belief.
Be open to new ideas. Open your heart and mind to new possibilities and don’t judge them too quick. Don’t worry; your heart will know what to do.
Follow your heart, that deep knowing that either feels good or bad to you. If an idea feels good to you, go for it! That is your heart calling you towards your desires.
You are meant to have a beautiful life and you’re not alone in achieving it. All you have to do is surrender to the support of the universe and your life will begin to unfold beautifully for you.