When it comes to dating, single moms often have to fight quite a few odds. One of them is explaining to the kids why mommy is going out with men other than daddy. Of course older kids understand the situation better, irrespective of whether they like it or not, but in the case of younger ones, the explanation can take a while.
In case you are the only mommy who is dating in the play group, it will help to keep the tips listed below in mind:
- Talk to your kid – Unless you baby is an infant, always talk to the kid about the situation. Never lie to your kid about how daddy has gone away but will b back soon etc. Instead simply put down the facts and be prepared to be asked questions. If you hide the fact about why daddy does not live with mommy, you will only end up confusing the child and in this confusion she will fall prey to any muddled up information that she picks up from others.
- Confident and comfortable – Both you and the kids need to be confident and comfortable with the situation. This will help the child to answer any question that other kids may have about the situation. While adults will usually handle the scenario better, kids can be very candid and sometimes cruel too. So if there are repeated question from them about where daddy is, you kid should be comfortable enough to say that mom and dad don’t live together, they are divorced and not feel bad about it. This will take a lot affection and positivity from your end but will be every bit worth it.
- Get to know the rest of the group – In case you find out that a certain friend is asking your kids question like ‘why is your mommy with other men’ or ‘where is your dad’, instead of a hostile approach, try a friendly one. Get to know the child’s mom and talk to her about your situation. With sympathy and understanding of your situation, the mom is likely to convey the feeling to the kids and others in the group and the questions will die down. The more the rest of the group knows you, the less they will doubt your intentions. So stay friendly instead of hiding in your shell since that’s a better policy.
You may be the only mom in the group who is dating, but this does not mean that your friends can’t be women who are married. Don’t give up on your married friends and do not hesitate to make friends with ladies who are married. While single friends are also great, remember that like all other moms you must also mingle with your kid’s friend’s mothers so that you are able to keep the ply dates going and help your kid to settle down into a nice friendly atmosphere. So single or not, you are a mom and don’t let your dating keep you away from the rest of the gang.
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