Going off on your first date, after your divorce, can make you very nervous indeed. Most women have not been on a date since a long time and the apprehensions and fears can ruin the date unless you are careful. Most women have a low self esteem after the divorce and some even wonder if they lacked somewhere and that is why the marriage broke down. The pressures of raising the kids add to the stress and some moms may worry too much about how their dating will affect the children.
Carrying all this baggage for the date spells disaster. Below are some tips that will help you sail through your first date smoothly:
- Don’t be defensive - As a single divorced mother you are no doubt hurting and this could be turning you into a defensive person. Do not bite your dates head off for just a small joke. The idea of the date is to loosen up ad enjoy each other. Don’t presume the worse of your date and work hard towards maintaining a friendly and relaxed disposition. In case you find that your date is asking you questions that you do not wish to answer, stay calm and simply let you date know politely that you do not wish to go down that road as of now.
- Listen more talk less - When it comes to first dates, it is best to talk less and listen more. The more you talk the more information you are giving out about yourself. On the other hand the more you listen the more you will be able to learn about your date. This information will come in handy for you to judge if you wish to take the relationship further or not. The temptation of talking about your divorce may be high, but talk to a friend about it rather than your date.
- Avoid alcohol – An important tip that comes in handy is not to drink too much, if any, on the first date. Not only are you making yourself venerable but you may also give out the wrong signal to your date. So if you are someone who gets high on a glass of wine, simply opt for a juice during dinner. Drinking too much on your first date is bound to make you talk about your divorce or even loose control of the evening. With kids at home you do not want this to happen. It is important that you keep the evening as normal as possible and show great responsibility when stepping out on the first date after your divorce.
Going out on your first date after your divorce can no doubt be a bit scary, however keeping these tips in mind will help you to keep control over the situation and get comfortable with it. This date will serve as a stepping stone for your social interactions in your coming years and it is indeed important that you have a good time and the date goes through smoothly.