You know how it feels when someone has hurt your feelings? When somebody close to you has been mean spirited? It hurts bad. Sometimes you want to get back at them, either by gossip or directly by hurting them back. Woman can be harder on one another than men. We seem to be creatures of envy, jealousy, and we can be bitter and vindictive. Try to keep those thorns in and demonstrate good will. As difficult as that may be, you will grow into a better person, a healthier person, when you show restraint and maturity. How we handle our differences is being observed very closely by our children. How we treat our family members and friends is how your children will treat others too. When someone calls you names simply, put on your classy hat and shame them, by refusing to engage in the argument. People are stunned when you don’t fuel the situation. Be a member of the “Life is too Short club.” There is a wonderful book out about how troubling things will impact your life in 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 months or 10 years. In other words, let the negative, unnecessary stuff go. Your feathers may be ruffled, but don’t add more stress to your life, than you already have. When it comes to challenging conversations or unkind behavior, I ask myself, How would I want to be treated or spoken to in that situation? It changes your attitude and perception immediately. The minute you do that, it raises your awareness towards others and you raise the bar higher for your own standards and ethics.
If a friend has done something to hurt you, talk with them and tell them how you feel. Yelling, name calling and finger pointing puts up a wall of resentment, and nothing good comes from that. Connect with those you love and care about. Let them know they matter to you and do what you can to encourage positive behavior. We all make mistakes, but forgiveness is a powerful tool for a happier life.
You know that phrase: Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me? That is wrong. Words do hurt and can easily break the heart and spirit of anyone. Choose your words wisely, and ask yourself what I always do: How would I want someone to talk to me? Do yourself a big favor and direct your anger in a different direction. Take a run, walk the track, ride a bicycle, play the drums, sing out loud, anything except verbally hurting someone. No matter if you grew up with yelling, you can choose to break that cycle. Life is about choices, sometimes very few, but they can make a huge difference in your future. What you say, and what you do is being recorded and played back by your children. Live your best life, and do your best in every situation. It isn’t easy, when you are hurting and there is no one there to listen. I am here for you and so is everyone else, who is reading this today.
Two wrongs don’t make it right, but one good choice can make a world of difference!
Article by Laurie Cesario-Overton