It can happen anyway, even at the grocery store: you’re navigating through a crowded aisle, and suddenly an attractive person walking in the other direction bumps into you as you pass each other. Was it intentional, or did they really not see you there? You turn around, and they apologize and smile. Was that just politeness, or is this their way of letting you know they’re interested? How can you know for sure? It make be tempting to make assumptions either way and jump right in with a move or ignore the signs and walk away, but a lot is at stake, and the next decision you make could be the one that changes your entire life.
Tips to get you started down the healthy road to flirting fun!
* For starters, you need to think about yourself rather than the other person. What are your intentions? Before you can approach this situation the right way, you need to know what you hope to get out of it. Are you looking for a lasting, real relationship? If that’s the case, then of course you’ll be looking for signs that this person you find attractive is even available. A quick glance at the wedding ring finger is a good start, or if you’re at the grocery store, you could have a sneaky look in their shopping cart and make sure there’s nothing in there that indicates an existing relationship (baby food or diapers would be a warning sign, for sure).
* Next, once you’ve gotten straight with your own intentions, your highest priority is your safety. While this may not sound like the fun side of flirting that you’re looking for, it’s even less fun to proceed with abandon and then suddenly find yourself in a dangerous situation that could have been avoided. Instead, take some time to check in with your body and notice how it’s reacting to the situation at hand. Is your body at ease, comfortable, secure, or is there any hint of pulling away or shutting down? If there’s even a small amount of doubt, don’t chance it – no one is that good looking that it’s worth risking your safety.
* Finally, once you’ve done the necessary intention and safety checks… on with the flirting! Believe it or not, this is the easy part, the part where you just kick back and let your natural ability take over. Do you doubt that you were born with a natural ability to flirt? It’s true! All that “accidentally” bumping into people and then apologizing and smiling and looking away and looking back again… that’s flirting at its most fundamental! It’s as simple as making eye contact, smiling at someone, and then finding something authentic to say to go along with it. The flirting is the easy part; the hard part is not letting your self-consciousness get the best of you when you start paying attention and trying to control what you’re doing!
These days, many of us resort to the internet for meeting and flirting with people, and although there’s something to be said for keeping that virtual wall up while we get to know someone, there’s still no real substitute for a real-life personal connection. So get out there and practice! Just remember to load your tool belt up with the three basics: your intention for the encounter, your intuition to keep you safe, and your natural born flirting skill!
Take our quiz and see what you know about flirting: Answer True or False, then add up:
1. When someone goes out of their way to talk to me they are flirting
2. When someone makes prolonged eye contact (more than three seconds) they want my attention
3. When a woman is flirting it’s obvious
4. When a man is overtly flirting he generally has one thing on his mind
5. There’s a difference between being flirtatious and flirting
6. There are right ways and wrong ways to flirt
7. Saying inappropriate things in the name of flirting is acceptable
8. Flirting when you’re in a committed relationship is fine as long as you don’t act on it
Click here for answers.
Article by Maryanne Comaroto