We’re no longer going to focus on the disappointments of the past. We’re no longer going to believe that the only men we can attract are fixer-uppers, men that we have to nurture and raise and get to the point where they can be what we and our children need. (we’ve already got children. We don’t need another one!) We’re not going to talk about how scared we are, or how angry we are or how disappointed we are by the prospects left in the dating world. We’re not blaming our exes for not being there or being there in ways we don’t want them to be! We’re not complaining about the mistakes others have committed against us or the mistakes we’ve committed against others. We’re no longer defining ourselves by our struggles.
We’re also not claiming to be independent women who don’t need anybody—a partner included. Or that our complex emotional needs for companionship, interaction and love can be met by simply sex. We’re not simply animals who need to rut in the corner and be on our way. We’re more than that. We’re not playing that game of not having any real feelings, of being void of emotion and too strong to be vulnerable.
We, as mothers, know what true love is. We felt it the moment we laid eyes on our infants and we feel it that overpowering, unexplainable love every time we look at their sleeping faces. We feel an unexplainable pride and gratitude as we pile their plates with food to feel their bellies, knowing that we are nourishing their bodies, keeping them alive and making them strong. We know it every time we buy them something unnecessary or extra, a doll, a video game, a book– just to make them smile. We know love, we are love. Humans need love like flowers need water and sunlight. Take it away and we die…
We’re opening our hearts and embracing the prospect of new, healthy, functional love. We’re taking responsibility for our choices that we made in the past and determined to make better ones in the future. We’re taking full responsibility for our happiness, for our dreams and for our children.
We’re going for the best potential partners, the best experiences, the best that life has to offer. We’re not pretending to be carefree, we’re careful– because we have children to protect and who depend on us to make the right choices. We’re responsible, but we’re not burdened. We’re experienced, but we’re still fresh and open to new things! We’re complicated, we’re intriguing, we’re a handful and we come as a package: We’re dating moms: uniquely individual and divinely precious.