Do you ever feel like you’re constantly chasing a “good enough life”? Like your life isn’t good enough right now? It’s like we’re always chasing something better and no matter what, there’s always more to be had. Especially as single parents, we feel like we have to make up in some way for not having a “whole” family. Well let me first say that a family is not necessarily made up of a mother, father and the children living under one roof. A family is made up of people who you love unconditionally and you don’t even have to be under the same roof! It’s just me and my two kids and I can say with all confidence that I can’t imagine us being happier.
Anyway, today is my 37th birthday and this morning I couldn’t help but realize that I felt better than I ever have about turning another year older. I never thought I’d be happy about turning 37! So I thought about it and realized that only just recently have I become completely, 100% satisfied with my life! Not my life in 1 year, 5 years or 10 years from now but right now. My life is enough for me and I’m perfectly content right now which is a lot different than previous years. I can’t even tell you how amazing it feels to be content with life the way it is this very moment. To not want for anything but still have desires to pursue. Do you know the difference in having desires and not feeling whole and having desires and feeling whole?
Before I always felt like I needed a better degree, higher paying job, more hobbies, more decorations in my house, more family pictures on the walls, learn how to cook better, a boyfriend who’d actually stick around and become a husband. I didn’t feel good enough and my life felt like a work in progress and this made me feel so empty inside. Until I finally got tired of chasing “good enough” and decided to make my life and all of its imperfections good enough just the way it is.
And now no matter what happens in my life I’m happy. I can finally sit back and breathe and enjoy my life and the best part is that my desires now feel exciting! My desires don’t feel like something that will fill a void in my life. Finally, I can sit back on my birthday and just enjoy life around me instead of regretting that I haven’t done more. So how did I get to this point? Well the biggest thing was my turning point. Like I said, I got tired of chasing “good enough” and I stopped. I knew in my heart that I am an amazing woman with the capability of bringing 2 children into this world and raising them to be beautiful and inspiring people. There is no way possible that I don’t deserve a wonderful life so I decided that I was going to stop chasing and start enjoying.
Accept everything right now. The first thing you have to do is to stop the madness of feeling like your life isn’t good enough. It is! I promise! But you have to be willing to accept everything the way it is right now without trying to reason with anything. Give up wanting control because honestly, you never had it anyway. Your life up to this point has made you who you are and you’re beautiful so accept it for what it is, the good and the bad.
Appreciate the good. We focus so much on the things that we think are bad in our lives and this is what leads us to want to improve our lives. This is fine but more importantly are the things in our lives that make us happy. The happy things deserve our time and energy and there isn’t a single moment that goes by that you can’t find at least one thing to appreciate. Make it a practice every day to take time out and think about the little and big things that truly bring you happiness and appreciate them. Feel it, own it and bask in this appreciation and before you know it, you’ll find that the bad things will fade away because you won’t even be thinking about them anymore. I even made a list and I would read my list every morning. This always made me smile and feel better about my life. Your life is full of beautiful things from your morning coffee to story time with your kids at night. Give the things you love your appreciation and you will receive even more of those things.
Believe. You have to believe in yourself and in your life if you want to be happy with your life. This world is made up of rules and limits but you know what? They’re all man made and bless our highly sophisticated intelligence but we don’t know everything and you don’t know what you’re capable of until you believe in yourself. So quit making excuses for not living your dreams and believe in yourself! Because there’s nothing stopping you! Back when I was chasing life instead of living it, I was dead set on getting my Master’s degree so I could make more money and have more security but in my heart what I really wanted was to be a writer. Even more specifically, I have always, ever since I was a little girl wanted to be a fiction author. It wasn’t until recently that I decided that since I only have one life, I owe it to myself to believe in my dreams. Sure, getting my Master’s and pursuing the career that I was going after would’ve made me happy but it wouldn’t have fulfilled my soul like writing does. I believe in myself and I believe in the path my life is on so much that I gave up grad school and I’m pursuing my writing. It feels amazing! It feels powerful and unstoppable to have unlimited belief in yourself.
That’s it. That’s how I came to love my life as it is. 3 rules to practice every day and you are so worth it! Accept your life and know that you are where you are for a very good reason. Appreciate your life because it’s made up of beautiful things that surround you in every moment. All you have to do is look for them and allow your heart to give thanks. Believe in yourself and all that your life is right now. It’s imperfectly perfect and when you give in to acceptance, appreciation and believing, you set the basis for accomplishing anything and having all the fun you can imagine along the way.