As a single mom, it seems like our days are full of anxiety, stress and racing the clock, right? There’s so much to do every day and we spend way too much time being scatter brained. But what if you could stop the madness and start enjoying every day and no longer feel stressed, anxious and worried? Here’s a secret I’ve learned that I’m more than thrilled to share with you…you never get everything done. So why worry about it? Why not start enjoying every moment with a deeper sense of awareness?
I remember the days when I would complain that every day was a race against the clock. I nearly choked several times because I would be eating, trying to talk to the kids and putting the dishes away at the same time! I was always stressed; worried and anxious about not getting something done or wondering how I was ever going to keep up with my busy life. The funny thing is that now I’m busier than ever but happier and more relaxed than ever. I spend more time doing the things I like to do than I do “working” and my new more relaxed way of living has brought me so much happiness and I even feel younger! So how did I do it?
I relaxed, desired and became inspired. This is my new way of living summed up in 3 words. Relax, Desire and be Inspired. If you can wrap your pretty little head around this new concept, your life will become much more enjoyable. Remember, life never has to be hard. Life is meant to be enjoyable if only you’ll allow yourself to see the positive in everything. Anxiety, worrying and stress take up so much space in our heads and it causes us to rush through life and act in ways that inspire more negativity. Our thoughts and actions are very closely linked so if you’re stressed out, you are going to act out in stressful ways such as undeservingly snapping at the kids because you’re stressed about something or jumping the gun and making a decision too soon because you’re feeling anxious. So let me break it down for you.
A lot of people think that actions will inspire how you feel so we work extra hard and long because we think the harder we work, the happier we’ll be “in the end” and this creates more stress because we can’t seem to ever get anything done. And if you’re like I used to be, you suffer from what I call “Mom ADD” the inability to focus on one thing long enough to be productive because you have too many other things on your mind. But working harder won’t bring happiness. Happiness inspires actions that bring more happiness. So…
Relax. This takes practice and a conscious effort to achieve but if you can relax, your thoughts become clearer and more organized and you actually get a lot more done. You have to stop and pay attention to what you’re thinking and how it makes you feel. If what you’re thinking makes you feel something negative then it will be beneficial to you to stop that thought, remind yourself that everything is okay and that this thought has no control over you. Let it go. One thing that has really helped me in controlling my thoughts and how they make me feel is meditating. I try to do it every morning before I start my day. Meditating clears your mind and gives you space to feel free and more deliberate in your head. I’ll provide a link to the site where I learned to meditate at the end. Anxiety, stress and worry are nothing more than simple warnings that you need to reroute your course. That’s it so if you are feeling worried, anxious or stressed, stop and gather the thoughts that are making you feel this way. Take some deep breaths and remind yourself that these feelings have no control over you and that you are alright. Talk to yourself positively until you start to feel better and then let those thoughts go. They don’t serve you.
Our everyday tasks can seem mundane and irritating but not when you allow yourself to see the positive in them. That you have everyday tasks gives your life meaning. For example, I hated cleaning out the litter box every day. It’s disgusting! But when I started reminding myself that changing the litter box is proof that I care about the 2 cats I saved from living an awful life, I gave positive meaning to having to change the litter box every day. Thinking about how I saved my cats and gave them the opportunity to have a wonderful life makes me smile no matter how much smelly poop I have to scoop out of the litter box. Having to get up at 6 every morning to get the kids to school is much more enjoyable when I remind myself that I have children to get to school. That I get to be a mother.
Desire. When you can let go of the negative thoughts, you make room for positive ones. You make room for desires. How do you desire to feel in this moment? Good, right? So more specifically, how do you desire to feel about what you’re doing right now? In a month? 5 years? When your head is no longer bogged down with everything that is stressing you out or causing anxiety and worry, you have the ability to deliberately think about what you want. For example, as I sit here writing this post, I am thinking about how I want to inspire women to feel better and be happier instead of thinking about all the laundry that is currently piled up on my bed. I’d rather think about my desire to inspire you than the stupid laundry and so giving priority to my desires leads to actions that…
Inspire. When you can relax and let your thoughts be filled with your desires, instead of being inspired to act from a place of worry, anxiety and stress you are now being inspired to act from a place of desire. You’ll instantly notice a change in the things you do throughout your day. Instead of speed walking to your car because you’re stressed about getting somewhere, you’ll stop and notice the little old couple taking their time and laughing as though they have no cares in the world because you desire to find meaning in your day. Desiring to feel happy, to love and inspire people, to find meaning, to feel fulfilled no matter what you are doing will inspire the right actions. It’s as simple as that.
The more you practice relaxing, desiring and allowing inspiration, the easier it becomes and the more joyful your life will be. No matter how busy your life seems, let go of the things that bring about negative feelings and pay more attention to the things that bring positive feelings. Decide how you want to feel throughout the day and allow the inspiration to act on this come to you. Your time is precious and it should be filled with rest, happiness and ease. Not stress, anxiety and worry. Here are some links to some valuable resources that really helped me to let go of stress, anxiety and worry and make room for relaxation, desires and inspiration.
Learn meditation from a beginners level to an advanced level with Dr. Chopra, a world renowned physician and specialist on the art of meditation and mindfulness (highly recommended by Oprah Winfrey) here.
Eckhart Tolle is an amazing author and self-made expert on learning to be present and finding your purpose in life. I read his book The Power of Now and it’s helped me tremendously in learning how to enjoy every moment of my life. You can buy it from his official site here.
These are the two most influential resources that I came across and I know they can help you too.