Those who read my articles know that I am a proud grandmother. Together my husband and I have seven grandchildren, with a new bundle on the way. My youngest daughter is pregnant!
She has been working on Cruise Ships for the past few years, as the lead vocalist in the band. She and her special guy (a musician) wanted to grab one more cruise to Europe, before they called it quits and put their roots down on dry land. As fate has it, they got a pleasant surprise…a baby is on the way.
I wanted to share this with everyone, because her story, their story isn’t far from yours. When a young woman has a great job in a fun social environment, you might think, she has everything figured out, life would be easy. She doesn’t and it’s not. News like this, though they are both happy, is still overwhelming. They have been together for quite awhile, and wanted to travel and share adventures for a few more years, before they settled down and got married. Ready or not… the time has come.
Ashley and Aaron are loving individuals and will make amazing parents. However, like everyone when a surprise comes unexpected that completely changes your life, they too were scared. They asked all the same questions I bet most other single mom’s and parents have asked. Will I find a job right away? Can we do this? They certainly can’t cruise around the open seas right now. Will I find a job with benefits? Can I find affordable housing? How are we going to afford the childcare costs? Will I make the best choices for my child?
Everything I have heard them talk about, I read from many single mothers. It doesn’t matter if you have led what seemed to be a fun, glamorous life, in the end, we are all the same. How can we be our best selves? What can I offer my family?
One day at a time, is what I say. Remember, Rome was not built in a day. I raised five kids on my own, I know they will manage just fine. We are there for them emotionally, and love them both unconditionally. My daughter isn’t a teenager, she understands what life is about, and in her mid twenties knows a lot about babies and children from the work I did for so many years. Still, when it comes to having a baby, you have a million questions and concerns. Just like every new parent. Would Ashley love to continue her singing career? Sure, but not on a ship, not anymore. She has always been resourceful, and will find a job quickly. She comes from good stock..ha.
The big difference between their situation and single moms, is yes, they are a couple, and no they are not married, not right now anyways. I love her boyfriend, he is a very caring and responsible young man and I believe he will do everything possible to share the responsibilities of raising this child. No guarantees for anyone. It’s wonderful to see the way he looks at my daughter, with such pride and love. I have already made my Christmas wish for them …for a good life together where love never dies.
The message here is we all walk in someone else’s shoes at one time or another. Life is a big maze, and it’s always changing, we are always finding our way. I tell my children to have faith and trust in yourself. Listen to your gut and do what is right. Treat others as you want to be treated. I try to live by that Golden Rule every day.
Merry Christmas everyone, and Happy New Year… from my heart to yours.
Article by Laurie Cesario-Overton