Ask Laurie – Advice to Single Moms

Ask VeronicaAsk Laurie your questions on single mom dating, coping with depression, coping with addiction, trouble with finances, household chores, cooking, and much more. Get direct answers to your single mom questions. Ask your questions using the form below, and Laurie will reply you as soon as possible. She will give you a direct, non sugar coated answer.

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Comments

  1. Tired Mommy says

    I am a single working mom and have it better than most. My four year old son’s father sees him everyday and takes him regularly. I have a great job. My life is so good for a single mother. However, I am having issues with myself. First, here is our summer schedule. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I take my son to his grandparents (it will be 1/2 day pre-k when schools starts five days 6am to 1pm). His fathers goes there as well every morning to see him before work (sometimes I am there, sometimes I have already left). After work, I pick him up and go home. Around 7:30 pm his father comes to eat his dinner (me and my son have eaten and bathed already), watch TV, play with our son, and pray and read story then he leaves. Thursday and Friday morning are the same except his Dad takes him home when he gets him from my house at 7:30 pm. (I always pick him up after work). My son and his father stay together all day on Saturday and I pick him up on Sunday at 12:00. The reason his father has him every Saturday is because I had to agree to let his father raise him as a 7th Day Adventist or he wouldn’t agree to have a child with me and they basically worship all Friday night and until sundown on Saturday. I never anticipated we would break up and am not the religion.

    Further, he told me when I was six months pregnant that he was not in love with me. I was floored and hormone filled and felt like I was shot. Still we stayed together in a weird relationship until I confronted him about him seeing someone when our son was 4 years old. He was we broke up but this has been our schedule. I just told him that I do not want him coming to my house anymore and that he can call and talk to his son because I want to move on with my life. It is hard enough for me to deal with hearing about his girlfriend from my son without having to see his face everyday. He can still see his son in the morning at my parents but he can only come to my house to pick up our son or drop him off. No more long visits.

    I am trying to deal with my emotions and am having a problem. I don’t know if I have depression or anxiety or am doing the wrong thing. I go days on end without sleeping and want to find peace. Please advise what you think. Thank you!

  2. Anya says

    Hi Laurie, I am a single mother of a 14 year old and I am about 6 months pregnant. I work full time and I have an education (I graduated finally last year after 13 years of part time studying). I have horrible financial stress right now that is starting to get unbearable. I don’t qualify for any services that are typically offered, for example I gross $400 a year to much for WIC, or low cost school lunches. And I gross significantly too much for housing assistance, food assistance, Medicaid, CHP or TANF. Are there any resources for people in my situation? I would take a second job but that’s nearly impossible with a baby on the way, I am already exhausted from being pregnant, working 40 hours a week and shuffling a teenager around.

  3. says

    Dear Pulgarcyta,

    You are a friends, good friend. I think it’s very nice of you to come up with ideas for extra money for your single mom friend. Having an extra set of eyes on possible job finds is always a good thing…as long as you are not the only person really looking for those better opportunities. Your friend needs to be earnestly seeking the best situation for herself and her child too. Yes, you can earn decent money as a single mother, many do. What job, and what situation will depend on your friend; her work skills, abilities, location, hours, availability and so forth. I got licensed in my state as a home daycare provider and raised 5 children on that income. I was a renter, and fortunately was able to stay put for 16 years in the same place. That helps provide stability for your child and yourself. It sounds like your friend needs to stay planted, and not give up or give in too easily in searching for what’s best for her and the child. Since you are such a good friend, focus on encouraging her to search for a better job that can grow with her in the future, or encourage her to go back to school where she can use child care credits for her child….but try to stay away from enabling her too much, it’s easy to look to others for solutions, when very often we already know what we must do. Good Luck and God Bless.

  4. Pulgarcyta says

    Hello! I am writing because I have a friend that is a single mom, she has been struggling for quite sometime with a part time job, that has been shown to be a dead end for a while, has moved like three times already, and finally she called me today and said that she doesn’t have any money to pay rent next month because her part time job is not really working out… I make jewelry and told her she should take my pieces and sell them and I’ll give her a percentage. (I had offer this months ago, but she did not want to do it) But I feel she could be just applying for other jobs instead of trying to “make something work at the last minute” kind of thing? I love her and her son too, but sometimes I feel she is not doing all she needs to do to get things in line. Of course I am not in her shoes, so what do I know, right? I just would love to be able to help her with ideas and support her with positive messages that it is actually possible to make money and be a single mom. Is it??? Any ideas you’d like to share would be lovely! Thank you so much in advance for your suggestions!

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