Ask Laurie – Advice to Single Moms

Ask VeronicaAsk Laurie your questions on single mom dating, coping with depression, coping with addiction, trouble with finances, household chores, cooking, and much more. Get direct answers to your single mom questions. Ask your questions using the form below, and Laurie will reply you as soon as possible. She will give you a direct, non sugar coated answer.

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Comments

  1. chrissy says

    Hello my name is Chrissy. I am a 27 yr old single mother of 2 wonderful boys. They are 5 & 8. I don’t know what I would do without my boys and love them with every bit of my heart. My boys usually get along great and play well together. Here lately in the past months they argue non-stop. I mean over it all. I have done time outs, grounding, taken things away, etc. Nothing has.worked I feel.like I am loosing control. Can anybody offer any tips on this or offer.advice? I w oud greatly appreciate it. I dont know.if.im doing something wrong or maybe there is a method I havent discovered yet. PLEASE HELP

    • says

      Hi Chrissy,

      I raised 3 boys and 2 girls, and I always heard the phrase, “boys will be boys.” I’m not sure I ever truly understood what that was supposed to mean, except that girls and boys are different in many ways. All parents have their troubled moments with kids, they can disagree and test each other, in ways that can be frustrating for sure. As a single mom, my kids weren’t angels all the time either, but they were very close and played like best friends. As parents we need to teach our kids how to resolve issues without fighting, because in the bigger world, it doesn’t work that way. In reading your message, I am wondering if something happened recently? Is there someone at school they are having problems with? Is there an issue with daycare? Has something changed suddenly in their life, surroundings or other? If this is new behavior, you can bet there is something that triggered it. Ask their teachers if they have noticed any changes in class, or with other students. Kids seem to thrive on routines, and stability…perhaps something is new or different and the boys are reacting. In any case, I had “House rules” on arguing and working out my children’s differences. I was pretty firm on respect and manners to each family member and I called a “family meeting” … so everyone could share their feelings. It may sound corny, but eventually everyone had something to say, and it was a great way to show my kids, I was listening, and they could talk about their feelings, however, the bottom line was hurting each other was not acceptable. It definitely helped our family stay closer and more connected. The best of luck Chrissy. Parenthood is always a work in progress, and talking about it is a great start.

  2. LAVERNE BROWN says

    I AM A SINGLE MOTHER I LIVE WITH MY GRAND MOTHER I HAVE A PART-TIME JOB WITH A SMALL SALARY, I HAVE TWO CHILDREN, I HAVE APPLIED FOR MANY JOBS WITH NO SUCCESS TO DATE. MY G-MOTHER IS MOVING TO SENIOR HOUSING VERY SOON. I DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY FOR MOVING EXPENSE, FIRST AND LAST MONTHS RENT. MY CIRCUMSTANCE WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO GET A LOAN. IS THERE ANY RESOURCES THAT WOULD HELP WITH MY FINANCIAL SITUATION. I LIVE IN ST LOUIS, MO.

    • says

      Hi Laverne,
      First off, I am very sorry you are having a difficult time right now. I am a believer in change, and the fact that your grandmother is going to live in a senior housing complex, might be a blessing in disguise. I don’t know if you belong to a church, but if you do they can help in several ways. In California there are food banks connected to churches, and you could give your name and information in case someone is also looking for a room-mate…and they sometimes help with deposits on rentals. Another good source of information is giving your contact number to local pre-schools as there are many single moms looking to share expenses. It’s a start until you can live on your own. Good luck, and God Bless.

  3. Lisa says

    Hello,

    I am a single mom who once filed for child support, but then went back to the child support office to put in a request to stop the process because my child’s father talked me into it. The child support office canceled the financial support, and is enforcing medical support. Long story short, I lost my job, and now my child’s father is not helping me financially. I reapplied for financial services but was denied, and told that I have to wait three years for a review of the services to get a financial order. Is there anything I can do to get the financial part of the order enforced without having to wait 3 years?

    P.S. I have two years left :(

    • says

      Lisa, my heart breaks for you. When you are trying so hard to raise a child, it’s not fair of the father to ask you to “hold off” on child support. Whether he is employed or not, this is his child too, and therefore, his responsibility as well. It sounds like he made some promises that he didn’t follow through with, but my suggestion from now on, proceed with child support and stay strong. Perhaps because you lost your job since the first request, they might look in favor of re-submitting your claim now. Good Luck and God Bless.

  4. Lisa says

    My name is Lisa Martin, I am a single mother with two children and am a junior at JSU with a 3.6 GPA. My college career began while my children and I were still living in a domestic violence shelter four years ago this month. My son was five years old and my daughter was three! I made a decision then that we would never again be in that situation! I did try at first to work attend class and be a mother, but was unsuccessful because the help just isn’t there. At $7 an hour you can’t make ends meet. So, I decided to take out student loans (without complete understanding I’m embarrassed to say) to help us to start over and build a foundation for a better future. Embarrassingly enough, I learned recently that I had met my aggregated amount on my loans. I have no one who can help me with my children so I took what hours I could take that would give me the flexibility to be here when they got home from school. While my education has become a huge part of my life, My children are my first and most important priority. Just to be clear, There is not an option to quit! It is not going to happen and I will find a way to finish my education and reach my goal of security for my children and myself. I do not have income to pay the loan back and don’t have the credit to take out a personal loan. I have put in applications with scholarships and grants as well as local hospitals who offer tuition reimbursement and so far have had no luck. Any advice u could offer would be greatly appreciated!

  5. Alex says

    My husband packed his car and moved to a different state for his job. Myself and two young daughters were evicted from our home and My car just recently got repossessed. I have a 6 year old who is in the first grade and needs transportation back and from to school. I was a stay at home mother for 3years and having a hard time finding a job. Most people don’t consider being a stay at home mom is a real job. Its been six months since my husband left. I want a divorce but cant afford one and Need proper housing for daughters. Just looking for some insight or the light at the end of the tunnel. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

  6. Anna says

    I am just wondering what to do about my feelings lately. I have a super sweet but super needy 5 year old who has sensory processing disorder. She’s socially awkward and says random things that show me she clearly has pragmatic speech issues. My poor 4 year old is a sweetheart but feisty as can be. I’m overwhelmed and I feel like such a crappy mom. As hard as I try to do things right, take them both to swimming, gymnastics, therapy and do fun things with them and feed them good healthy food, I feel like they (especially my 5 year old) is never happy. I never thought I would feel like I wasn’t good enough for my kids, but that is exactly what I feel. I’ve even thought they may be better off without me. I have no help. I have no family in this country. All I have is my babies who I love to pieces… but who don’t seem to be happy with me. Today, she told my ex-husband on the phone that she wants a new mom. I’m so hurt. I’m so devastated. Tomorrow is a new day and I’ll wake up and do everything I think I should do… and they will say they love me, and laugh and have fun. But the moment something goes even a little off… it will all go back to me feeling awful like this. What am I doing wrong?

  7. me.N.Lil'momas says

    So me and my baby lost everthing.. Her dad took it all im depressed n were homeless im 21 n have been married for 4 year.
    I don’t know where to start or go..its scary

  8. Jennifer Coleman says

    I am a single mother age 37 rasing a 4 year old and 12 year old while enrolled in an online doctoral program. I am struggling really badly to pay all my bills since I receive no child support and have a hard time maintaining a stable PT job as I suffer from depression and anxiety badly and jugging everything makes me crazy. My 12 year old son has bipolar disorder and ADHD so this also means I have to be flexible with working and my Masters is in Counseling. I live in a county in SC that has little work for this profession unless went into private practice ( would love to but do not have funding to start it). Can you tell me any grants or scholarships at my education level or to help with other living expenses while in school? I went back to school since was having such hard time finding a job in my field in this area and no money to move. Anything would help!!! My ex husband ruined my credit so additional private loans is not an option and I have a debt for education around 70,000 at this point.

  9. Val says

    I was in a relationship and mu boyfriend decides to dump me and kick me out of his apartment. I have a 9 month old. I have no family at all out here or any type of close friends. I dont know where to go. I called about a shelter i am scared to bring a baby in that type of environment. Is there any housing that single moms, family get for emergencies? I live in Ct.

  10. Unknown Louisiana gal! says

    I am currently living in La! I am in a very unhealthy relationship with my kids dad! Yes we love each other but we can’t be together and I have no resources here to help me or if there is I haven found them yet! Plz help me find housing for me and my kids so I can get them safe and raise them and not have worries about it! If you have any available info plz plz plz send me some! I never thought this was going to happen! How does this get better with no help!

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